Greetings,
Sure, why not? Let's talk about this movie today. It does have "Christmas" in the title after all, though it has about as much to do with Christmas as the movie I reviewed at this time last year, Reindeer Games. In other words, not very much. But that's probably why I picked it. Also, it's the 60th anniversary of the film, so good timing. To be honest, this is actually one of my favorite movies for so many reasons. And here are the reasons...also the plot. Let's get started.
We begin on Christmas Eve in 1944 with a group of soldiers in the midst of war and also in the midst of some kind of grown-up Christmas pageant starring their fellow soldiers. That's right, guys. No Bob Hope for you. You have to be entertained by what is, basically, a talent show performed by guys you already know. But it's okay. The guys you know are being played by Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, a.k.a. one of my favorite actors of this cinematic era and Bing Crosby. Okay, nothing against Bing. I do like him as a performer, but Danny Kaye does not get anywhere near as much credit as he deserves for how amazing he was. Anyway, they play Captain Bob Harris (Crosby) and Private Phil Davis (Kaye) and they are giving the guys a good show. Well, the guys think so, but in the background, we see some hierarchy of the army look on disapprovingly. No kidding. One guy actually says "There's no Christmas in the army". I'll assume that statement was followed by "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with some crying baseball players!" So, then, we hear our first rendition of the titular song, as well as tribute to their retiring General Waverly played by Dean Jagger. Don't know who he is? Well, he won an Academy Award in 1949, before they were a joke, and I counted 64 films on his Wikipedia Filmography. Sorry, PARTIAL filmography! See, celebrities of today, this is why we can't stand your whining about how hard you have to work. Moving on.
Once the music ends, the sirens go off and bombs start dropping. We are in a war, remember. During the attack, Phil saves Bob from getting crushed by a falling wall and injures his arm in the process. Keep that in mind, because he uses it to get whatever he wants several times in the movie. Afterwards, they decide that, when the war ends, they should get together and make some music. Then, the war ends and they make some music together. And so we get a musical montage that follows how their act becomes more and more famous. Cut to, I don't know, ten years later maybe? I guess. I mean, it started in 1944 and the film is made in 1954, so I took a shot. But, whatever. It seems that after all this time, Phil is tired of Bob working him so hard and he wants Bob to find a woman so he can get some time off. I've heard of worse reasons for someone to get married. Unfortunately, they aren't surrounded by women who are the type Bob would want to settle down with. You know, bimbos. Modern day translation for the kids: Skanks.
Fortunately, they end up having to see an act called the Haynes Sisters, Judy and Betty, played by Vera-Ellen and Rosemary "This Is Who I Want To Be When I Grow Up" Clooney. No, seriously, I still want to be her when I grow up. Except I would have disowned my nephew if he starred in Batman and Robin. Anyway, the two guys meet the two girls and start talking about business and other things. Yeah, I have no idea where this might be going. Actually, whilst Phil and Judy go off to tell us that "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing" which I think might be Tom Hiddleston's theme song, Bob and Betty don't seem to be getting along all too well...at first. Yeah, I REALLY have no idea where this might be going.
Anyway, after some shenanigans, which involve cross-dressing-ish and running from the cops (no, I'm not kidding!), the boys and the girls end up on a train on their way to the Columbia Inn in Vermont, where they girls are booked to perform. But two surprises are gotten when they arrive. Number One: There's no snow...in Vermont...in December. Number Two: The inn is owned by General Waverly. He is there with his granddaughter, Susan, played by Anne Whitfield, and the housekeeper, Emma, played by Mary Wickes, serving brilliantly as some extra comic relief. Anyway, no snow means no residents at the inn, but the girls still sing. Then, the guys get an idea (I can't believe this is the plot) to put on a show to save the Inn. Don't worry, though. I know you've seen this type of plot in things like Chipmunks: The Squeakquel where they have to save the school's music program, Sunday School Musical where they have to save the church and, of course, the Hannah Montana Movie where they have to save an empty field. No, really. But in the case of White Christmas, you will actually be entertained by some very good music. What a twist!
And I am not kidding about the musical numbers. Yeah, let me pause from the plot for a moment to discuss them. They are fantastic throughout the entire film. Whether it's the hugeness of the Minstrel Number, the gentle lullaby of "Count Your Blessings(Instead of Sheep), the lovable quirk of "Choreography" or the quiet yet powerful longing of "Love, You Didn't Do Right by Me", every song is a brilliant production in and of itself.
But that's how they did things back then. They cared. Anyway, all the songs were written by Irving Berlin, including the aforementioned "White Christmas" but he wrote that for another movie called Holiday Inn, also starring Bing Crosby. So, the most Christmas-y thing in this barely Christmas-y Christmas movie wasn't even made for the movie. Go figure. Nonetheless, the music and dancing aspects of this film are easily the best parts of it. Oh, and pay attention to see George Chakaris of West Side Story fame as one of Rosemary Clooney's backup dancers. For real! Okay, back to the story.
So, as the whole "let's put on a show" plot is going on, there's other stuff happening as well. One thing is that Bob and Phil are trying to assemble as many former soldiers as they can who served under General Waverly, as he seems to be taking his retirement hard. The other thing is that Phil and Judy are plotting to get Bob and Betty together. However, Betty won't settle down with a man until Judy does because Betty feels like the "Mother Hen" and can't leave Judy alone, because she can't possibly take care of herself, having the disadvantage of lady parts and whatnot. So, Phil and Judy fake their engagement, so Betty will feel okay about getting together with Bob. I have problems with this, twofold. First of all, I get that this is not meant to be taken too seriously, but there is a fine line between fun hijinks and totally contrived. I really don't know how far over the line they've gone here. Second...WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTER? Ladies, you are clearly in your thirties! I know that this was before Women's Lib and all, but come on. Life does not begin at man, so stop being such Bellas. And despite these slight oopsies, every time I start to think about them too much, they just start singing another song and I forget about it all. Genius!
Anyway, all the fake engagement does is drive Betty away, especially after she mis-eavesdrops, thinking that Bob's intentions are less than pure concerning the General. Okay, that came out sounding worse than I meant it. I'm talking about money. She thinks he's in it for the money and publicity. So, she runs of to get a singing job at some place called The Carousel Club, which is so obviously a front for something else...I assume, and she must decide on whether or not to return to her family, the show and Bob. Will she? What do you think?
And so, everyone comes together, many former soldiers included, to perform the show and pay tribute to the General. We also get another rendition of "White Christmas" which serves as the other bookend with the first performance. The end.
In conclusion, I love this movie. Always have, always will. It's just so joyful and colorful and musical. It's like textbook Feel Good Film, but it's also unique. I know I mentioned some slight issues I have with the story, but they really aren't that big of a deal. I mean, it was 60 years ago. These things happened in films. But who cares? It's still a superb production in my opinion. Watch it during the holidays, watch it in August. Whenever. Just watch it.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
