The Ten Commandments - Movie Review

Greetings,

So, last night, I was delighted when I turned on the TV and saw that my favorite movie was going to air. That movie would be The Ten Commandments. Despite the fact that I think anyone who hasn't seen this movie is very, very sad, I will happily share my review with those who have not seen it and those who have. Well, in this case, it's not just a review. I will be discussing this whole thing in great detail. Therefore, as you can tell by the title of this post, it is a review, but also a retrospective.

This movie was made in 1956, and it's nearly four hours long. I know those two facts are enough to turn a lot of people off, especially the youngsters, but, doubt me not, you will be entertained by what I consider the greatest film of all time. I may only feel that way because it was the only night of the year I was allowed to stay up passed my bedtime when I was a kid. But I bet the awesome special effects have something to do with it, too. Now I have a lot of story to take you through. I just have to do it, because it really is so rich, I want to share as much as I can. So bear with me. And, possibly, enjoy!

We are taken on the journey of Moses, from birth to near death, which is probably why it takes so long. We see his mother set him on the Nile River to spare him from Pharaoh's edict to kill all the male children, See, he's scared, rightfully so, that one of them will deliver the Israelite slaves to freedom. And since good help is hard to find, this is his extremely humane idea to take care of this problem. Humane, and a bit misogynistic, if you ask me. Hello! Just the boys? A girl could have gotten them out of there, too. In theory, anyway. I'm not trying to be sacrilegious. Ironically, Moses is saved by the Pharaoh's daughter, a princess. If she was only a self-proclaimed princess, this is how I imagine Angelina's adoptions always go. Anyway, he is raised as a prince of Egypt, and he grows up to be Charlton Heston. Now the new Pharaoh, the one who didn't try to kill him, actually is leaning towards having Moses be the successor to the throne. And this is instead of his own son, Ramses, played by Yul Brynner, who is actually one of the only people who looks like he could possibly come from Egypt. A little. While the two guys fight for the throne, they are also fighting for the love of Nefretiri, the future queen, whether she likes it or not. I guess she's like a package deal with the throne. She's like the fries that come with a combo meal. And that just feels not so great to me. But when she's as gorgeous as Anne Baxter, any guy will throw down for that. Of course, in the case of Ramses, I'm not sure that love has much to do with his wanting her. How sad.

We also meet a lot of amazing characters, some actual, historical people, some . . . I don't really know. We have Joshua, of course, played by John Derek, quite possibly one of the best looking men to ever exist. Side note: I can't tell you the levels of wrongness I feel kind of crushing on a Bible character. So wrong! He's got a lady named Lilia, again another gorgeous actress. This time it's Debra Paget. Love her, by the way. Now Joshua and Lilia are two of the "good guys" in this film, so we need some contrast. The bad dudes are Vincent Price as Baka, and Edward G. Robinson as Dathan, a total traitor to his own people. If there's one thing that this movie does well, it is the villains. And may I add that every one of the men here has a thing for Miss Debra Paget character, and who can blame them? Although, what this poor woman is put through in this story just breaks my heart, and it makes me constantly hope that she gets a happy ending.

So, thanks to some big mouth servant, who Nefretiri takes out, as in kills, Moses finds out that he's actually a Hebrew and his family are slaves. No surprise, he is a bit shocked. He decides to go out and work with them, so he can experience what his life would have been like. During this time, we get one of the best scenes in the film. It has to do with this old man dying, regretting that his one prayer was never answered. But, as you'll see, it turns out that his prayer was, in fact, answered.

Another thing that happens in this part is that Moses ends up killing Vincent Price as a little side activity and also to save the life of Joshua. All of this gets back to the Pharaoh, including the fact that Moses is apparently this deliverer that everyone feared or hoped was coming. This is something that everyone believes except Moses himself. It all makes Pharaoh a little upset. He honestly seems to feel as though he is loosing a son. So what does he do? He kicks Moses out and erases his name from everything, even the pyramids, I think, which I bet is hard to do. And they send him to the desert. A little harsh. I mean, it wasn't his fault he was born. But isn't that just how some people are.

After some very severe and painful wandering through that desert, Moses runs into some Beduins, where he meets his future wife, Sephora, again, gorgeous. And it's Yvonne DeCarlo, a.k.a Mrs. Munster. Of course, after being accepted in by the father, Jethro, Moses gets his pick of the man's six other daughters, but he loves Sephora and intends to marry her. This leads to some of the most beautiful dialogue in the film. Including my favorite movie quote of all time - "Love is not an art to us. It's life to us." Absolutely perfect.

Now, after several years go by, this is when Moses heads up to Mount Sinai, which they're really not supposed to do because God lives there. Yeah, I know. It's where we get the whole burning bush thing, where God tells Moses that he has to go and free the slaves, and Moses is like, "Excuse me?" He really does not want to go, but when God tells you to do something, you did it. So, after he comes down from the mountain, with gray hair now, which freaks out the wife a bit, he grabs his brother Aaron and off they go.

In Egypt, they find that Ramses is now Pharaoh, married to Nefretiri and father to a little boy. Duh! What was Moses expecting? And here's what happens for a while, by way of some paraphrasing.

Moses - " Let my people go!"
Pharaoh - "No!"
Moses - "Here's a plague"
Pharaoh - "Okay, you can go"
Moses - "There goes the plague"
Pharaoh - "Never mind"
Moses - "Here we go again"

How accurate. Anyway, after the worst plague, the firstborn dying one, Pharaoh actually lets them go for real. But he says it really mean, like he's mad at Moses. He even throws something. Whatever! Look, Ramses, I get that your son died, which I wouldn't wish on anyone, but you could have said leave and meant it after the frogs. You brought this on yourself. In fact, Moses even said that Ramses would be the one to speak the last plague. And he did.

So all the slaves leave, and there are a lot of them. That must have taken a lot of organization. I mean, the hugeness of this scene is overwhelming. Not to mention, this is where we get the moment that always makes me cry a little. Let's just say, we see what seems to be the beautiful end of a long life and the beginning of a new one. Again, perfection.

Anyway, as they head off joyfully into their trip, there's trouble back at the palace. Ramses is all mad and his wife, who is mad at Moses for not hooking up with her, basically insults his manhood enough to convince him to go after Moses and the Israelites, and kill Moses. He's like "Alright" and goes.

Now comes the best part. The former slaves get to the Red Sea, and it's a big sea. Everyone's thinking 'What are we gonna do?'. And Moses just flat out starts yelling, reminding them that they have seen the power of God work to save them time and time again, and they have no reason to have fear. So, therefore . . . "Behold His mighty hand!" Up goes the water, nice dry land for everyone to walk on. Let's get a move on. But about halfway through, something changes. Something that really must have tested their faith. After being held back by a pillar of fire, the pharaoh and his army start charging. They chase after the Israelites, who had a head start. So much of a head start that, once God's people were all safe on land, the walls of water came tumbling down. It's like foreshadowing for that whole Jericho thing with Joshua. Anyway, Ramses loses his whole army and returns to his wife where he utters even more great words when asked about Moses. What does he say? "His God is God". Yeah, no kidding.

But we're not done yet. Calm down, though, we're almost there. Here's where everyone gets annoying. So Moses goes up the mountain to get the titular Ten Commandments for everyone. Apparently, he stays up there for too long, because all the people decide to build a golden calf to worship, instead of God. Yeah, the people who God just saved, multiple times, decide He's taking too long. It's crazy. But we didn't get the fruits of the spirit, one of them being long suffering, until the New Testament. Anyway, we've got Dathan egging them on, and how he bamboozled his way into leaving Egypt with everyone else, I'll never know. We've got Aaron, brother of Moses, building the dang idol, because everyone pushes him to do it. Hello! Weak under peer pressure much! They even try to sacrifice Lilia! What? Always the pretty girls. So then, good timing, here comes Moses with the Ten Commandments, including the one about no graven images. What a coincidence! He's a little mad, so he throws the stone tablets down at the idol, and then, fire galore. It's awesome to behold. This should teach everyone two things: obey God and be patient.

The film ends with a few of the characters way older after all the desert wandering, deciding what to put in the Ark of the Covenant. Then Moses walks off into the sunset or whatever, and the credits roll. And so ends the best movie ever.

I know I said a lot about this film, which is why I decided to call it a retrospective as well, but watch it anyway. It is so worth it. It's beautiful and lyrical and Biblical, when they manage to be accurate. It is everything that a masterpiece of cinema should be. So I say, thank you, Mr. DeMille. You, sir, are a legend.

Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer

Stranger Than Fiction - Movie Review

Greetings,

I love movies about writers. Call me a narcissist if you must. I just love watching stories about the process of the work, even though I am well acquainted with it. But, of course, everyone's process is different. Although, I do often wonder what hopes and fears we all share. Turns out, we may share a few bizarre ones. And this is why I wanted to talk about Stranger Than Fiction.

This film is about a man named Harold Crick, an IRS agent who loves numbers. In other words, the most boring man you will ever meet. He is played by Will Ferrell and while this role can be called comedic, it goes much deeper than slapstick. Anyway, one day, as he brushes his teeth, counting as he goes, Harold begins to hear a voice in his head describing his every move. It seems he has kind of life narrator.

Naturally, he's a little curious about what's going on, but when this voice eventually says that he is going to die, he becomes desperate for an answer to what's going on. So he enlists the help of Professor Jules Hilbert, played by Dustin Hoffman, who doesn't seem that freaked out at all. Although, with the eccentricity of his character, it's not surprising. In fact, he almost acts as those this is a normal and usual occurrence. It always made me wonder if, in his experience, maybe it was.

We soon find out that the voice in his head is that of a real author named Karen Eiffel, Emma Thompson's character, who is writing, or rather trying to write a novel with Harold Crick as the main character. Her dilemma? She doesn't know how to kill him, because, in her books, someone always dies. She does not enlist the help of Penny, played by Queen Latifah, but, instead, has this woman forced upon her by the publisher who has a deadline to be met, to assist her in finishing the novel.

In the meantime, Harold is sent to audit a very hippie-like bakery owner, Anna Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhall). She obviously wants to make his life miserable and nearly succeeds, until they begin to see things in each other that they never thought they would find. I'm not sure how I feel about this character, but I see what they were going for, making her such a contrast to Harold. Some of it works for me.

Throughout the film, we follow these two parallel stories, wondering if they're even in the same world. And as time goes on, you can find yourself rooting for both Harold and Karen to succeed at what they are after, though it seems impossible for both of them to win. Still, there's something about this movie that almost asks you to believe in some kind of miracle.

I can't really say anymore without ruining the story, but this is one of those movies that can be difficult to describe and really needs to be seen. It is a great movie though, especially if you enjoy actors stepping out of their typical comfort zone of roles. You'll also love it if you love movies about writers, which, as I mentioned, I do.

Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer