Greetings,
Remember yesterday, what I said about the not-so-great music of this year? How I could barely handle talking about it? Yeah, well, I say we don't do a lot of small talk today. Let's just get down to the task at hand and deal with the especially awful awfulness of this year in music with the Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1989. Sigh. Let's get this over with.
#10. "Shower Me With Your Love" Surface - Okay, this one is placing quite low on the list, because I am being a bit nitpicky here. I have little issue with the verses of the song. They're not that bad, actually, and the singing is fine. But the chorus? That phrase, 'shower me with your love'? I don't know. It just sounds wrong, so wrong. At worst. At best, it's just cringeworthy.
#9. "After All" Cher and Peter Cetera - As I previously mentioned, I like Chicago, so I don't really have a major problem with Peter Cetera. I even like a little of his solo work. A little. And I like Cher. Even saw her in concert one time. But this song is one I never, ever liked. It just doesn't do anything. It's...there, and that's about it. I need more, especially from these two.
#8. "Rock Wit'cha" Bobby Brown - First of all, what is up with that spelling? Yes, I am not a fan of this so-called phonetic spelling with song titles. I can tolerate a 'wanna' or a 'gonna', even a 'kinda', but that's about it. Don't ask me why? Also, if you want to make a song about romancing...well, 'romancing' the ladies, try not to make references to Marvin Gaye. I mean, I don't remind people of Wolfgang Puck when I make smoked salmon. It's just...no, thank you.
#7. "I Wanna Have Some Fun" Samantha Fox - Speaking of a 'wanna' song, there's this. So apparently, in the 80's, a lot of people wanted to be Madonna. Her fans doing this was bad enough, but it seems that a few musical acts were going in this direction as well. Whether it was on purpose or not, I get a feeling that Samantha Fox was attempting to follow in her footsteps. Why, I have no idea, but this song and its accompanying video kind of proved that, though I never considered Madonna a paradigm of fine music, this girl was not even close. At least, not with this song.
#6. "Rock On" Michael Damian - You know how we all kind of roll our eyes at the thought of actors doing the music thing? Well, if you are a soap opera actor doing it, you've got even more strikes against you. Not everyone can be Jack Wagner. No lie, I love him. But this guy, I just don't know. I have no idea what he was like as an actor, save a brief stint on The Facts of Life, and to be fair, he doesn't have a bad voice. He sounds very 80's, actually. And this song sounds 80's...times a hundred. I get how some people might like that, but I just don't in this case. And don't get me started on the lyrics.
#5. "Girl, I'm Gonna Miss You" Milli Vanilli - You didn't think I was going to forget these guys, did you? Well, there's more to come, but let's just deal with this now. They had four -FOUR!- songs that ranked in, not only the Top 100 of the year, but the Top 30. What the heck, 1989? This was, apparently, their love ballad. Oh, it had some slow, slow rapping...ish, because why not? Forget the pantomime scandal. I have no idea how they got successful with this stuff.
#4. "I Like It" Dino - Ever look at a new act in music and know that they are going to be a one-hit-wonder? And barely so. Yeah, I think this was something of a hello/goodbye situation here. I actually don't even think I've ever heard this thing on the radio. Even Rick Astley gets played on legit radio these days, but not this guy. How sad is that?
#3. "Batdance" Prince - What in the heck is this? Look, I am not exactly a fan of Prince, but I can, at least, appreciate that he has done some good stuff. He certainly is a talented musician and songwriter. So why? Why does this exist? It does not need to exist.
#2. "Baby, I Love Your Way/Free Bird" Will to Power - This is not a tie of two songs. This is a mash-up...Glee style! You know what, no. I take that back. At least Glee, doing its best to ruin good music since 2009, can do a proper mash-up where the two or more songs are somehow related, either lyrically or melodically...sometimes. But what do these to songs have in common? The 70's? For crying out loud, "Staying Alive" and "Disco Duck" would be a better combo. The only reason that this is only Number 2 is because, whoever the girl is in this act, she's actually got some vocal chops. Otherwise, I've got nothing. Did I mention this song made it to Number 9 on the Year End Chart? Number 9! For the entire year! Confused face, for real.
#1. "Baby, Don't Forget My Number" Milli Vanilli - Welcome back, boys. Don't forget your number, you say? Oh, I will forget, but I will not forgive. Not for this. I mean, come on! There is nothing, NOTHING right with this song. Pretty much everything I detest about 80's music can be found right here. So, if you're looking to torture someone, I just made it way easier for you.
And there you have the worst of the year, again, in my opinion. I will, for sure, be doing lists like this in the future, but I think it will be a long while before I venture into the 80's again. If I ever go back at all.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
