Greetings,
As difficult as it was for me to fill yesterday's Best Of list, it was equally, if not more, difficult to narrow down to ten songs for today's list. There was so much crap to sift through. So much that I am going to do something that I don't think I've ever done for one of my Year End lists. I am going to give some Honorable Mentions. That's how bad it was. Let's get this over with. Ladies and gentlemen, the Worst Hit Songs of 2015, as always, just in my opinion.
Honorable Mentions (along with condensed reasons for my distaste):
"Post To Be" Omarion featuring Chris Brown and Jhene Aiko - Because saying the word "supposed" correctly took too much effort, apparently.
"What Do You Mean?" Justin Bieber - Because it can almost be described the way we described "Blurred Lines".
"Four Five Seconds" Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney - Because What the Heck, Paul McCartney?!?
"Anything by Meghan Trainor Except the One That Actually Made the List" - Because the gimmick is getting old.
"Bad Blood" Taylor Swift - Because of the questionable casting of the video, and less about the actual song. But still.
And since I limited myself to only five for the pre-list, let's get to the...winners?
#10. "Girl Crush" Little Big Town - First of all, this song is boring as heck. Second, what is with this title? It is the musical equivalent of click bait. Oooh, they're a country group maybe delving into something that's edgy for their genre. But wait, the song isn't actually about what they're trying to make you think it is, so that presumed core fan base will stay calm. Really? What they did is kind of shady and insulting, and this song is just not good enough to make up for that.
#9. "Sugar" Maroon 5 - Well, that praise for Adam Levine didn't last long since yesterday. But what I said good about him then has much to do with what I'm saying not so good now. It's his voice. Restrain yourself, sir. You can sound very good, so why do you choose not to do so?
#8. "Watch Me" Silento - A.K.A The Whip/Nae Nae song, and proof as to why anything we write as teenagers should not be given any reverence. Of course, on the upside, I guess this isn't supposed to be taken that seriously, but it was enough to make the charts. Still, I hate these songs that try to start a dance craze and will now be played at wedding receptions and other events for the rest of our lives. We have the Macarena. That is all we need.
#7. "Want To Want Me" Jason Derulo - Are you asking me a question here? Like do I want to want you? If so, the answer is a resounding NO! No, I do not want to want you, Jason Derulo. I do not want you at all. In the words of the illustrious Michelle Tanner aimed at her sister from that one episode of Full House where Stephanie was trying to play a song on her recorder and kept hitting a bad note..."You are not good". Yeah, that's right. He gets a Full House related joke, and even that is too good for him. But look on the bright side, Derulo. You're not the absolute worst of the year like last time, so congratulations. And go away, already.
#6. "Honey, I'm Good" Andy Grammer - I think it was Chris Rock who made the joke about men who pull the "Hey, I Take Care of My Kids!" card, and the response being "What, do you want a cookie?" Indeed, no one should get anything extra for simply doing what they are supposed to do. In the case of this song, apparently, I am supposed to give this guy a medal for not cheating on his lady. Yeah, you're supposed to not to that. And you're also supposed to not make some of the worst sounding music in recent history.
#5. "7/11" Beyonce - What in all serious heck is this...song? Look, I may not be a fan of Beyonce's music, but I never deny anyone their talent. I happen to think she does have some talent as a singer and songwriter sometimes. So, what is this? See, this is what happens when people or genres or movie studios have a built in audience. They become complacent, because they know people will buy whatever they give them. They barely try to make anything good. I mean, why bother to put forth the effort? But honestly, Beyonce, you are better than this.
#4. "B*** Better Have My Money" Rihanna - Yes, I don't use some words on my blog. Sorry, not sorry. So, is this song kind of glamorizing pimps? Well, that seems like a super good idea to emulate people who are purported to be abusive toward women when you are a woman who has been abused. Rihanna, what happened to you? You were so classy in that interview you did right after the...incident, telling young girls not to stay with a guy who hits them. I had so much respect for you in that moment. Talk about a 180 turnaround. But I believe there is hope for you yet, musically and otherwise.
#3. "Ayo" Chris Brown and Tyga - Speaking of which...Look, I can go on and on about all the really bad things these guys have either been accused of doing or have straight up done for sure, but we're here to talk about the music. And this music is freakin' unlistenable. Which is totally a word. Enough said.
#2. "Cool For the Summer" Demi Lovato - "Hey, look at me! I'm edgy now! Did I mention that I was edgy now? Because I totally am! I was on Glee! And now I do this kind of music! LOOK AT ME!!!" Yeah, that could have been the parenthetical title of this song. You know, a few years back, Ms. Lovato shared with the world some of her personal issues, and I was glad she did, especially since it seemed like she was getting help. And she recorded a lovely song called "Skyscraper" that told a story of triumph. THAT song sounded more sincere than THIS song, and she didn't even take part in writing it. She wrote this mess, though, and it is so contrived, fake and calculated. I've said it before, I'll say it again. When did portraying oneself as an adult consist of NOTHING but one's sexuality. That is a part of it, but not all of it. At least, it shouldn't be. I might have criticized Little Big Town for being underhanded, but I can also criticize this for being too obvious. Just try harder to stop trying so hard.
#1. "Marvin Gaye" Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor - What...the...crap? When I first heard this thing, my jaw dropped. It was and is so awful. I mean..."Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on"? That doesn't even make any sense. And by the way, if you look at the whole Marvin Gaye oeuvre, most of it is not overtly sexual, and yet everyone has to grab onto that one aspect and magnify it times 100. A lot of his stuff was just sweet love songs., but that doesn't sell these days. We must have only the sex talk. And not very well written sex talk at that. Oh, and one more thing. Look, believe it or not, I'm no prude, but when the cringe-worthy song is accompanied by a cringe-worthy video. Yeah, too far. Too, too far. The whole thing is just collectively the worst. According to me, anyway.
So, there are my own personal Worst Hit Songs of 2015, as always, just in my opinion. But WOW! I'd like to hope that we've hit rock bottom, and we can only go up from here. But I just have serious doubts. Therefore, God be with us and our ears in 2016.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
