Greetings,
So, have any of you ever read the book, Little Women, or perhaps, seen one of the wonderful cinematic adaptations of it and thought, "These characters are way too likable. I'd rather have a version that portrays them in a way that makes me wish they would all just go away!" If the answer is yes, then have I got a TV movie for you. The March Sisters at Christmas, everyone.
Where do I begin with this one? Okay, this is a 2012 Lifetime movie that I just happened to stumble upon as I was channel surfing. As I've mentioned, Lifetime movies can be hit or miss with me, and I thought this would be a hit. I mean, I love the story of Little Women, and you'd think a network that prides itself on being for women would do a good job. Yeah, not so much. I give credit to the production aspect of it, as I think it looks really great. The town and the house in which they shot were actually rather perfect, but then, the script happened. Again, generally speaking, it's not that poorly written, but in context of a Little Women adaptation...Holy Smokes, I was confused. Anyway, let's get started. Oh, and I will be giving some spoilers, so, if you'd like to check this out for yourself, do that first, then come back and read.
So, this is a modern adaptation of the story that actually takes place over three holidays, not just Christmas. That's fine. The book was a lot more than Christmas as well. And I have absolutely no problem with updating it for the times. That can work quite well. After all, I loved The Lizzie Bennett Diaries. But while that was a very detailed, well-constructed and even loyal version of Pride & Prejudice, this seems more like the writer merely read a synopsis of Little Women. Okay, the plot.
What's going on in this version is that Mrs. March is planning on selling the family home, Orchard House, because it is pretty much falling apart, and she and her husband, who is a correspondent currently injured and out of the country, do not have the means to fix it up. All the girls come back and tell/whine to their mother that she can't sell the house. Excuse me, but yes, she can. It's not your decision, ladies. Making matters worse, Mrs. March must leave to get Mr. March and they will both be gone until January. More whining. So, once their mother is gone, the girls decide to fix up the house themselves. Even though they have absolutely no idea how to do that, to an almost life threatening degree. I'm not even kidding about that. I suppose my only response to what they're doing can be this: "Hello, 911. I've just witnessed some people trying to identity thieve a Property Brother". Whatever, though. I guess their hearts are in the right place. Benefit of the doubt and whatnot. And the movie pretty much documents the shenanigans of the renovation, as well as some other things. I know what you're thinking. That doesn't sound so bad. What's the problem?
Well, remember that thing I mentioned earlier about the characters? Yeah... I don't know what the heck they were thinking when they wrote these, but in my opinion, they got it so wrong. Yes, all the girls had their quirks in the book, but they were still lovable. Let's get just compare and contrast the March sisters of yore with these ones. We'll start with Meg. I recall Meg as being the nice, responsible one who was very traditional and straight-laced, even for the time period. Here, she's a law student, but not so responsible or traditional. Unless those are words you associate with cheating on your boyfriend. Okay, they made it seem like she really didn't, but I think she did. Timing is everything. Next, there's Jo, who in the book, was the writer and free spirited and creative. A bit stubborn, certainly, but always loving and caring underneath something of a hard shell. She's a writer here, too, albeit working as a phantom Tweeter for celebrities, but she's also kind of (and I hate to say this) B-wordy. You know what I mean? Look, there's stubborn and then there's being totally obnoxious, rude and ungrateful to a friend who is simply trying to help her family. Third, we have Beth, who we all know is the most beloved of the March sisters. She is the most gentle, kindhearted and sweetest of all of them. In this, she is pretty much just a whiner who doesn't want to do anything with her life (until the very end, but it seems forced). Sweet Moses, she cries at the drop of a hat. Even Claire Danes' Beth didn't do that and she was dying! Oh, yeah, Beth doesn't die in this. But who wants the most emotional part of the story told anyway? Finally, we have Amy. Oh, what to say about her? Well, Amy, being the youngest, could be a tad petulant at times and rebellious as a child, but as the book progressed, she grew up into, for lack of a better term, a grown up. This Amy is twenty-years-old (we know because she brings it up like 800 times) but she acts like she's about 9. Except for the being super promiscuous part. No, I'm not judging, exactly, but there is a naked picture scandal in this, where Amy is the perpetrator, but someone else gets their reputation damaged. Charming! And again, I know what you may be thinking. That I said I loved The Lizzie Bennett Diaries, which also had a similar situation. Yes, but in that case, the featured character, while having made a big mistake, was also being victimized by someone else, so there you go. Oh, and back to Amy, you may be wondering if the big incident where she burns Jo's writing is in this version. In a manner of speaking. But instead of a book, she almost burns down the house. The house that they are trying to save. It seems she thinks that she, an unqualified person, can repair the major electrical problems, even though her sisters said they'd get a pro because - HELLO! Dangerous! And then she gets mad at them for getting mad at her. Apparently, she thought the only reason they wouldn't let her do it was because she is the youngest. Not because she's not an electrician...at all! Do I have to call 911 again? What the actual heck? Yeah, Amy is pretty much the worst. Moving on.
As far as the rest of the characters are concerned, it's a spectrum. The parents are fine, but they're barely in the movie. Mr. Lawrence is kind of interesting, too. The stand-in for Bhaer is okay, but he's sort of just there. John Brooke spends most of his time waiting in the wings to pounce (literally) on Meg, even though she has a boyfriend. And then, there's Teddy Lawrence. Sometimes, he's fine, like when he's dealing with obnoxious Jo, but other times, when she's being decent, he's the one being super obnoxious. Nothing for anybody, I see.
Look, I'd say that this is the biggest problem with this adaptation - the way they wrote the characters. The story is fine-ish, in theory. Could use some tweaking. I just don't know why they made the girls and almost everyone else so unlikable. This could have been a really good movie, but I cringed my way through it. Look, if you want to watch this, go right ahead. Like I said, it does look beautiful, and honestly, none of the actors were bad. They just had some questionable material to work with. If you do watch this, though, prepare yourself.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
