Greetings,
And now for the Worst Hit Songs of 2006, again, only my opinion. If you like these, good for you. I just sort of don't. Also, if it looks as though I may be picking on a particular genre, I apologize. I didn't mean to do that. I actually can be quite of fan of said particular genre. It's just that, this year, it gave me some not so great stuff. Come to think of it, a lot of this stuff, though it still appears on the 2006 year end chart, was actually released in 2005. And we all know about the reputaion 2005 has when it comes to music. Yeah. Anyway, let's get started. My worst of 2006 awaits.
An honorable mention first, though, for the song "I'm 'n Luv (Wit a Stripper) by T. Pain. Mostly because, no, sir, I don't quite think you are in love with that stripper. Sure, you might be, but I just don't think so.
#10. "Life is a Highway" Rascal Flatts - This song only barely made the list for one reason - I like it. Hold on there. I like the song; I do not like this cover version of the song. Not at all. Whilst the original singer, Tom Cochrane, had this rough, gravely voice that suited the song, what these guys did to it with their vocals just ruined it for me. Also, it was a tie in to the movie Cars. Enough said.
#9. "Promiscuous" Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland - When Nelly Furtado first showed up, she was a relief. In the midst of all the carbon copy pop princesses with which we had been dealing for a while, she and her music really stood out. Then, she released a second album that didn't do so well. Then, she decided to do a 180 into the world of...whatever the heck genre of music this is. I mean, her sound and her lyrics were so unique and thoughtful, but, after one critical disappointment being herself, she decides to just sound like everyone else. Of course, I can't say she wasn't successful at it or even that she wasn't pleased with it. I'm not against an artist evolving, but believe it or not, I think there is a difference between evolving and changing. If that makes any sense.
#8. "Check On It" Beyonce featuring Slim Thug - So, The Pink Panther remake. Man, did that movie suck! What's worse than getting a group of amazing actors together, the likes of Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Emily Mortimer, JEAN FLIPPIN' RENO of all people, and then ending up with something like this? Well, how about we add a terrible tie in song to the mix? Okay, so here's the thing with Beyonce. I would not call myself a fan of hers, but I don't deny anybody whatever talent they have. When she does get something right, I won't say she didn't. She did not get it right this time. It just sounded the same all the way through, without a decent hook or anything. I don't know. Beyonce can certainly be good. Just, no thank you, this time.
#7. "My Humps" Black Eyed Peas - Do I even have to talk about what's wrong with this thing? The lyrics are beyond awful, the beat is just...whatever. I pretty much consider this song unlistenable, if that's even a word. So why is only at #7? Well, get yourself over to the YouTube and search the title of this song along with the name Alanis Morissette. Then, you'll know why a part of me is glad that this song exists.
#6. "London Bridge" Fergie - Back in the summer of 1999, I went to see Cher in concert. Seriously. Her opening act was Cyndi Lauper, and her opening act was a trio called Wild Orchid. What is the point, you may ask? Well, there was a girl in that group named Stacey Ferguson, who we know today as Fergie. If you haven't heard the way she sang when she was in Wild Orchid, particularly a song called "At Night I Pray", go have a listen. She has a phenomenal singing voice. So why does she not use said phenomenal voice nearly as much as she should? She certainly didn't use it on this song. I just don't get it.
#5. "Laffy Taffy" DTL - When I did my Worst of 1995 list, I had a song on there called "Tootsee Roll". And now this. Maybe I just don't songs with the name of a candy in the title. Maybe I'm trying to cut back on sweets and I don't want anything encouraging me to go against that. Or maybe this song just does everything a song can do to be irritating.
#4. "Ms. New Booty" Bubba Sparks featuring Ying Yang Twins and Mr. ColliPark - This song says the word "booty" a lot. A LOT! And when I hear the word "booty", it makes me think of my own booty. I'd rather not, thank you. I am kind of not in the best shape of my life at the moment. Now I know that in my Best of 2006 list, I had that "Hips" song by Shakira, and no, I don't want to think of my own hips either. But, as I mentioned, her dancing, even the thought of it, is enough to distract me from my personal body image woes. This song, on the other hand? I just...I just can't.
#3. "Photograph" Nickelback - So there were about three Nickelback songs on the Hot 100 list of this particular year. I could have picked any one of them. Still, if I had to pick a worst, and I did, this was the winner. Well, "winner".
#2. "Run It" Chris Brown - I would like to make it abundantly clear that I did not put this song on the list because of the...incident back in 2009 or whenever. How could I? This song came out before that happened. No, I am judging this song on its merits, which are, at best, few. I am not a fan of Chris Brown. I was never one, unless you count that song he did with Jordin Sparks. That was good. This was not.
#1. "Stupid Girls" Pink - I hate a few things in this world. Hypocrisy is one of them. And I don't just mean in other people. Oh, no, I can be guilty of it myself, and I do not approve. And this song and its "message" is so full of it. It's basically Person A and Person B doing exactly the same things, and then Person A says "Hey, Person B. Shame on you, only you, for doing these things, as I continue to do them myself". I think the attempt here was to tell girls that they need not act stupid to be sexy, prompted, no doubt, by the whole Jessica Simpson phase the world went through, and I'm not saying that that's wrong. I quite agree, actually. But this song, and especially the video, seem to be more of an attack on specific people for just being a way that Pink chooses not to be. And perhaps if she, herself, wasn't so vocal about being open minded in other areas, I could find the joke or the point, but I can't. It's all just "Shame on you for getting plastic surgery; shame on you for spending your money; shame on you for being skinny; shame on you for...having a dog?" Seriously, what the heck? Also, when you criticize someone for acting like a whore after you got up at an awards show when you won for your Moulin Rouge song and say "Thanks to everyone who thought we would make good whores", even if it's a joke, you lose a little credibility there. I'm going to try and give her, like, a B for effort, since I see what she was trying to do, and what she was trying to do was good. But the end result was just...no.
And there are the Worst Hit Songs of 2006, in my opinion. If you agree, great. If you don't, even better. Do not be a sheep, my friends. I just can't like everything. And I don't. Hmmm. That should be my tagline on all of these.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
