Greetings,
Okay, I know I did these TV movie reviews for Halloween week, but, like I said, I don't do Halloween. Know what else I'm not that into? Christmas. So put all that together and it seemed only natural to review what could possibly be the most infamous TV movie of all time. A little. Here it is, A Very Brady Christmas. Oh, yeah.
Okay, this TV movie aired in 1988, about seven years after we had gotten anything new from the Brady camp, that thing being The Brady Brides. I do not believe The Brady Brides was much of a hit . . . at all, so it might make you wonder why they could not have left well enough alone, letting us simply enjoy reruns of the original show. I always assumed it was because the upcoming year would mark the twentieth anniversary of the debut of The Brady Bunch, but who knows. What I do know is that this thing was REALLY big! Seriously, it was one of the most watched TV movies ever, and I give most credit to my assumption that people's curiosity just got the better of them. They just wanted to see what the current state of the Brady family was. They certainly got to see that. Yes, we get present-day Mr. and Mrs. Brady, present-day Alice and present-day Brady kids - all of them. I'm talking Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Cin- hey, hold it the heck up! That is not Cindy Brady! Yeah, for reasons that I have yet to discover, the actress who played the original Cindy did not take part in this, so they got a replacement who was . . . look, I'm not going to say she was bad, but they could have at least gotten someone with a lisp so we could close our eyes and pretend. It's kind of ironic, since the whole point of this movie is that it's been years since all the kids came home for the holidays at the same time, and the goal is to make it happen. So, technically . . . plan fail! PLAN FAIL! Anyway, speaking of which, let's move on to the plot.
As you may recall, The Brady Bunch, when it came to storytelling, was fairly simple and straight forward. This time, they thought they'd amp it up a bit. For example, before we get to the main plot, we get this, sort of, mini-episode with a mini-hijink. First, Alice comes back to the Brady home after leaving Sam (Yes, she married the butcher!), then both Mr. and Mrs. Brady secretly and separately tell her that they each are planning a trip, one to Japan and one to Greece, using the money in their savings account. But they don't just tell Alice. They tell all six kids, too. Really? Look, I appreciate the loyalty to their parents, but come on! When the surprises are basically spoiling each other, SAY SOMETHING! Fear not, though. Both Papa and Mama Brady discover the surprise the other was planning, at the travel agency of all places, so the whole thing was like a reference to "The Gift of the Magi". And in case you couldn't have figured that out on your own, they literally point it out. So, thanks? Anyway, they decide to forego both trips and use the money to fly everyone home for Christmas.
Okay, this brings us to the main plot, which is that everyone is coming home for Christmas. It is also at this point when we begin to realize that the movie suffers from two conflicting problems. First, that main plot is a tad too basic and generic, but then we have to deal with the fact that EVERY Brady kid has a reason why they kind of don't want to go home. So we have six subplots to keep straight. And they range from marriages falling apart to people losing their jobs to "Hey, I wanna go skiing with my friends over Christmas because I'm in college and that's what college kids do, and I'm not the real Cindy Brady anyway, so why the heck do I have to be there?" Yeah, those kind of problems. Look, I refuse to go into full on detail of all these subplots, because it would just take too long. Plus, my poor little head couldn't handle it. And on top of all that, we actually do, in my opinion, get two endings. And I have to talk about them, so spoilers ahead.
First, we get the red herring one. Everyone sits around at the table for Christmas dinner, and the secrets come out, one by one. You'd think that, when the last one is revealed, it is the end of the movie. Well, no. The phone rings and we find out that one of the buildings Mr. Brady designed has collapsed, trapping some men inside, so he has to go and help get them out. Yeah, because when buildings collapse, the first person you run to is the guy who designed it to go in and rescue the people trapped inside. And if he happens to be in his sixties, isn't that just the cherry on the sundae! Well, the initial victims get out, but then the building collapses some more, leaving Mr. Brady stuck in there alone. You know, since he was the one who designed this death trap, maybe he's getting what's coming to him. But, alas, the family arrives and we get our obligatory Christmas miracle, not to mention a flashback of the infamous "Mrs. Brady Loses Her Voice at Christmas" episode. (P.S. If you hired a fake Cindy, do not show the real one at any time.) Remember how in that episode, she sang "O Come, All Ye Faithful"? Well, she sings it here, too, and the whole crowd of onlookers joins in. And it is that which gives Mr. Brady the fortitude to get himself out of the collapsed building. And may I say that had they sung any other song, we would not have had such a prominent deus in this this deus ex machina. Oh, and we can't forget the news reporter pointing out what street on which this miracle just happened to take place. If the number 34 is coming to your mind, you are heading in the right direction! Then, they all go home to finally have Christmas dinner, and it's over. No, hold on. Someone's at the door. Who could it be? It's Sam, dressed up as Santa, because they couldn't get the original actor for that part either but didn't want us to know. Anyway, he's back to ask Alice for forgiveness, which she gives, and they're back together. The End. For real, this time. Well . . .
No, really, that was the end of that movie, but the reverberations continued on for years. First, the success of this thing parlayed it into a series called The Bradys, which brought the original Cindy back, but we had to deal with a fake Marcia. Amazingly, it lasted for six whole episodes. I think the problem was that they tried to make this, not a comedy like the original Brady Bunch, but a drama, in the vein of Thirtysomething, dealing with heavier issues. No, for real, in those six short episodes we get Mr. Brady going into politics, Marcia turning into an alcoholic, Jan adopting, Cindy romancing an older man, Peter breaking up with his fiance, and Bobby, continuing his race car driver subplot from the Christmas movie, getting into a wreck that paralyzes him, then he marries Martha Quinn. Whew! That was A LOT with which to deal, especially from the Bradys.
But things began to look up in 1995 with the release of The Brady Bunch Movie, and in 1996, with A Very Brady Sequel. Both of them, I think, were really good movies. They really grabbed on to every single cliche attached to the original show and made the most of it, therefore, solidifying the legacy of the Bradys even more. So, thumbs up. And all of this spawned. I think, from the success of A Very Brady Christmas.
So, as far as my opinion of this classic TV movie, I'd say that it's not great, but it's not too bad. It's just kind of . . . there, and you can certainly have a little fun with it. I suggest you watch it at least once, just so you can say you did. Good luck trying to find it, though. It was released on VHS back in the day, but I don't think it's ever gotten a DVD release. I couldn't find it on You Tube, which kind of surprised me. Your best bet is to keep your eyes open around the holiday season, and you might just catch an airing. And you might just get a kick out of it.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
