Greetings,
I seriously cannot believe it has taken me so long to do this, but I am finally doing my Top Ten list of Vincent D'Onofrio movies. Why today? Well, if you believe everything you read on the internet, and I do, today is his birthday. Since I'm broke and I don't actually know him, we'll call this a gift. Oh, I guess, after that, I should probably say that I will be giving a few movie spoilers in this list. Yes, I'm going to be nice today and tell you that.
Anyway, if you have read this blog before, you may have noticed that I have a great love for Mr. D'Onofrio. I have mentioned him a few times here. I mean, for crying out loud, I did a post search and saw that his name came up in about ten other things I've written, and only two of those actually were specifically related to him. And if you've read my first published book, you'll know that I dedicated it to him. That may seem like a weird thing for me to do, and it probably is, but there's a decent explanation for it. And I will give it somewhere within this blog post. So, anyway, I enjoy this man. I suppose that makes it even stranger that I haven't done this yet, but today seems like as good of a day as any.
I don't want to waste too much time here, but I have to say this was one of the more difficult lists I've had to do. Vincent D'Onofrio has been in a lot of films, and even if said films weren't always overwhelmingly good, he tended to be the bright spot in them. Also, much like what I said about my beloved Gary Sinise, he is not usually the main star in many of his movies. He has been that, but he generally as a supporter or part of an ensemble. Funny thing is, even in those cases, it is not an odd occurrence if he ends up stealing the show. But I think that's how he is. He doesn't have to be the star. He just wants to be a part of something good. Well, that would be a win on his part. Still, to make things a bit easier for myself, I excluded anything where he has less than, let's say, twenty minutes on screen. I know, I know. But here are a few quick words about those. In Adventures in Babysitting, he was a better Thor than Chris Hemsworth, and, in Ed Wood, he was a better Orson Welles than...Orson Welles. Okay, that might be pushing it. But I thought I'd narrow this down. So, let's get down to business. Here are my Top Ten Vincent D'Onofrio movies.
Honorable Mention: Yeah, I'm doing one of these again. This little award is going to The Cell. Now, admittedly this movie has a few flaws, but Vincent's performance was so great, I had to give it a bit of a shout out. He's does a pretty amazing job of playing Carl, a serial killer with a tragic past and some hobbies that are, in the words of the Nostalgia Critic..."specific". Usually, the whole villain and victim thing being meshed together doesn't work for me, but it does here. Also, hats off to him for dealing with all the over the top costumes and make-up for this thing. I admire the patience.
And now for the actual list.
#10. Sherlock: Case of Evil - This film was made in 2002, long before the craze caused by the Robert Downey, Jr. movies and the BBC Sherlock show and the far superior to either of those in my opinion, Elementary. So, sadly, I think it came and went relatively unnoticed. And that's not good at all. Now, normally, when the name Sherlock Holmes comes up in association with Vincent D'Onofrio, it's in regards to his Law and Order: Criminal Intent character, Detective Robert Goren, with good reason. Much like Holmes, he has somewhat adopted the "I love puzzles, but not so much people" philosophy of life. But here, he is not playing Sherlock. He's playing Moriarty! What?! That's right. He went to the other side on this one. Well, he is very good at playing bad guys and smart guys. Why not put the two together?
#9. Full Metal Jacket - I cannot be the only person who has watched this movie all the way through only once, and, with all subsequent viewings, stops after about 47 minutes, because...you know...the thing happens. Okay, maybe I just do that sometimes. Look, let's be honest. Everyone says that the best part of this movie is the first half, specifically all the parts with D'Onofrio. And I have met more than a few women who kinda sorta started to crush on him here. It's the woobie thing. You spend the whole time either wanting to give him a hug or beat the crap out of the guys who were picking on him. Or was that just me?
#8. The Narrows - I love a story about someone trying to get out of where they are, and this is about a young man trying to do just that. Vincent does not play the young man, as that role went to Kevin Zegers, but he does play the young man's father. Nice. Besides the obvious fantastic acting, this film also has some really great dialogue in it. I know. What a shock that I noticed that. There's also a mob thing going on within the plot. That's always good. Well, maybe not always, but certainly usually. In fact, unless my memory is playing a really wacky trick on me, I think there's an interview with Vincent on the DVD where he talks about his family being from New York...and Italian...but totally not in the mob. Well...Amen? Ya know, I really hope I didn't make that interview up in my head. I mean, I'm good, but I'm not that good.
#7. The Newton Boys - I can't be certain, but I think this is where the bromance of Vincent D'Onofrio and Ethan Hawke began. Sorry, I don't mean to undermine the great friendship that these two guys have. Anyway, it was their first movie together, as far as I know, but not their last. This is about the Newton Gang, a band of bank robbing brothers, and not only do we get Vincent and Ethan here, but also Skeet Ulrich and Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, good times, indeed. Now, I do like a good Western-type film every now and then, but the reason I really like this one is that it's a lot of fun. Sometimes that's all I need, to just sit there and be entertained. This movie takes care of that quite well.
#6. Staten Island - Again, we're getting Vincent D'Onofrio and Ethan Hawke doing some acting together. Here, D'Onofrio plays a mob boss, and he is very, very funny. I'm not kidding. I mean, it's been a while since I've seen this, and I know it's not a comedy, but, come on. He basically lives up in a tree for a good chunk of time. Shoot as many guns as you want, but that scenario can't not be funny. I think this movie did not get super great reviews, but I was so incredibly entertained by his performance that I could watch this several times. And, for a guy who tends to play darker characters, it was refreshing to see him being so humorous at the same time. He really needs to do more funny.
#5. Men in Black - Speaking of funny, 'My name is Vincent D'Onofrio, and I've been possessed by an alien bug!'. So, if we set aside Will Smith and Will Smith's song, I think that D'Onforio is the most memorable thing about this movie for a lot of people. In this role of Edgar the Alien Bug Man, he does not hold back at all. With the skills of a lesser actor, this part could have gone into silly territory, but with Vincent, he commits 100%. So, we get this weird character that's funny and disgusting and over the top and just plain insane. And it's amazing. It has to be hard to steal the spotlight from Will Smith in his own movie, but I think that's kind of what happened here.
#4. Steal This Movie - And now speaking of stealing and movies...Biopics can go either way, more than any other kind of film, I think. In Steal This Movie, Vincent plays Abbie Hoffman. When I said these things can go either way, I mean that this very easily could have become a caricature, since Abbie Hoffman was quite distinct in the way he talked and acted. But it was not just an impersonation being done here. Vincent really captures how this man was and how he behaved. And as I am quite shocked that he has never received an Oscar nomination, I think I'm most shocked that he didn't get one for this. Oh, also, if you get this on DVD, watch it, and then watch it with the commentary. Because said commentary is glorious.
#3. That Championship Season - Okay, I talked about this film before when it made my Gary Sinise list, so as to not be repetitive, I'll be brief. Now, this is technically a TV movie, but I don't care. It's so good I have to include it. The story is about four guys, who used to play basketball in high school, getting together with their coach after several years. May not seem like much, but it is. It was based on a play, and it really has the feel of one, since most of this is just five guys talking in a room. Sounds simple, maybe that's the point, but between the great writing and the superb acting of Vincent and the rest of the cast, it's actually incredible.
#2. Chelsea Walls - And in our final installment of the D'Onofrio/Hawke Show (OMG, somebody call the Bravo network NOW!), we have this fine film. Okay, for this one, Vincent does the acting and Ethan does the directing. It was actually his directorial debut. Chelsea Walls is about a bunch of artists living in the infamous Chelsea Hotel in New York City. Why artists? Well, because, obviously, they are the only people allowed to live in the Chelsea Hotel. Seriously, I don't even think they do credit checks; they just look at your portfolio. Anyway, this is another ensemble piece, and it's an amazing ensemble at that. Vincent is joined by Natasha Richardson, Kris Kristofferson, Robert Sean Leonard and Rosario Dawson, just to name a few. Also, Uma Thurman, because she may have known the director at the time. Kidding. She's fantastic in this, too. Again, this film wasn't exactly a huge hit, but I kind of understand that. It's different. It's very subtle and character driven, which is not always popular. I don't think this is something that everyone is going to be able to appreciate fully. I do, but I'm also an artist. And artists like to watch things about artists. Because we're all kind of narcissistic, in a way. We like to watch each other fail and triumph and live, just because. So, if you're into that, definitely check this one out.
#1. The Whole Wide World - The very first review I did on my blog was of this movie. I don't think I can give it any more praise than I did there, and I gave it a lot. Now, I don't want to repeat that entire review, so go back and read it, at some point, to get the whole story. I'll put a link down below, alright? As for now, I'll just say a few words. This film is absolutely brilliant. It's captivating and funny and heartbreaking. It's pretty much Vincent D'Onofrio at his very best. Oh, and since I got the title of my first book from a line he said in this film, that's why I dedicated it to him. Because why not?
So, there is my list. Sorry if I left off your favorites, but, like I mentioned, this was really hard. I've said this so many times, but it's worth being said again. I am such a huge admirer of Vincent D'Onofrio. He has made me laugh and cry and maybe even terrified me sometimes. I think he is one of the few true artists left in the entertainment industry, and, honestly, he is one of the people who makes me extremely honored to be an artist as well. I'm very grateful to him for that. So, I guess the only thing left for me to say is "Happy Birthday, Vincent D'Onofrio...if, by some miracle, you are reading this!" Here's hoping.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
Link to my The Whole Wide World review: blogspot
