Greetings,
I know that officially I referred to this as a review in the post title, but let me amend that a bit by calling it a warning. See, I enjoy writing reviews on my blog, and I have a lot of fun talking about less than good films. I devoted an entire week to doing so, after all. And even though I might discourage you all from seeing something if I think it sucks, I usually say, in the end, that if you think you'd like it despite the quality and whatnot, go ahead and check it out. Today, however, I will be telling you all straight up to not see this movie. And the film I speak of is Movie 43. Perhaps, you've heard of it.
For those of you who, thankfully, have never come across anything about this movie, let me give you some info. Not too much, though, because I don't want you to have the bad dreams. Movie 43 is a "comedy" anthology film consisting of a bunch of sketches with different actors, writers and directors, all with the framing of a guy pitching ideas. I know that doesn't sound so bad, but that's only because I haven't gone into any detail on it, and I don't think I will very much. But I do believe I can say, with absolutely no hyperbole, that this is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. Ever.
As I said, there are different types of bad movies. The funny ones, the crazy ones, the boring ones, right? This is none of those. This is uncomfortable bad. Very uncomfortable. I mean, it is tasteless and disgusting and humorless and literally pointless. There is not a single redeeming quality in this thing. Not one. Well, unless you enjoy things like bestiality, racism, incest and just a touch of child pornography. Yeah, I consider a girl of fifteen or so to be a child, forgive me. I guess somebody thought that this all was a good idea. So, needless to say, the content is my biggest problem here, but let's get to my other biggest problem. Let's get to the cast.
I am utterly dumbfounded at the level of acting talent they got to be in this film. Seriously, if you just saw half the cast list, you would think someone was producing an epic masterpiece of cinema. Obviously, that is not what happened. Now, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of actors here that I would expect to see in a film this crude. People like Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott, and Seth MacFarlane. Yes, I was not shocked that they were a part of this. I am, however, shocked that Adam Sandler didn't show up here, what with his history of trying to convince the world that pedophilia is hilarious. But then we have other actors who are not only good, but critically acclaimed and highly respected. People like Kate Winslet, Gerard Butler, Uma Thurman, who probably did this to overshadow her Poison Ivy past, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, who clearly did this to prove that, yes, she could sink lower than Catwoman, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, who I'm guessing is here because he thought we needed another reason to believe that his brother is a better actor than he is. Yeah, Liev, your little bro has played a guy named "Pornstache" and it's still more respectable than this. Seriously though, I really just don't know how or why all of these people agreed to be a part of this abomination. Although, I have heard some stories where that is concerned, none of which I will discuss, because they are way WAY too despicable. Just trust that there are a lot more abhorrent people in Hollywood than any of us ever imagined.
Okay, I know I said very little about this "movie", but I can't take even thinking about it anymore. Let me end this already. As someone who truly cares about you, my readers, I am pleading with you to never, ever put yourself through a viewing of this film. Warn your friends, warn your family to just stay away. You will thank me and anyone else who tells you not to watch this. There are plenty of good bad movies out there. You don't need to put yourself through this.
You know, I will end by saying one positive thing about this movie. At least, they cut out the part with the necrophilia. No, I'm not kidding.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
