Greetings,
I love ALF. There. I said it, and I am not ashamed of it. It seems, though, that people just do not understand, or even care to understand, the oeuvre of ALF, both the character and the show. And they certainly don't appreciate the whole thing. I've even heard people say the show and its style of comedy was unrealistic. Really? These must be the same people who accused the BRITISH Beatles of being un-American. Sigh. Well, those folks aside, my childhood was filled with watching this hilarious show, and it has most definitely carried itself into my adulthood, thanks to reruns and DVDs. It seems only fitting for me to devote a top ten list to my favorite episodes. But I guess I'll be nice and give a little synopsis of the show. This shouldn't take long.
One night, an Alien Life Form aka Alf (get it), aka Gordon Shumway, as we would eventually find out is his real name, crash lands into the garage of the Southern California family, the Tanners. They consisted of Willie, the kind of nerdy father; Kate, the 'why is this hot woman married to that nerd?' mother; Lynn, their sometimes insecure but sweet teenage daughter; and Brian, the kid that every show has whether they want it or not. At first, they are a bit stunned, naturally, but after the events of the pilot episode, they opt to let him stay, because . . . why the heck not? He's fun and furry. And from a planet called Melmac. Not to say Alf didn't come with problems, though. First off, they constantly had to hide him from the public, especially their nosy neighbors, Trevor and Raquel Ochmanek. Though, over the years, a ton of people do eventually get to meet him, including the Ochmaneks' nephew, Jake. He also breaks, like, everything in their house. Even blew up the kitchen once (P.S. That was SWEEEEET! And yet, not sweet enough to make the list.) Oh, and they also had to keep him from eating their cat, Lucky. Because he eats cats. Yeah, I'm guessing PETA just loved this show. And so for four years, all kinds of hijinks ensued. And they were fabulous. I think that's plenty of back story, since I am probably going to be very detailed and spoiler-y on this list. So, warning. Now let's go.
#10. "True Colors" (Season 4) - As much as I love ALF, I can admit that, by the fourth season, the show was losing its steam a bit. But there were a few gems during that last year, and this one is my favorite. So Lynn is taking an art class, and, as an artist, she's kind of meh. It seems she has the talent, but not the creativity, if that makes sense. But guess who does have creativity? Right, Alf. So he starts painting . . . with food. After slipping one of his works into Lynn's bag, her teacher sees it and praises it, leading Alf to believe that he is an artistic genius. But things may not always be as they appear. Creepy teacher alert! What I love about this one is how pretentious Alf gets when he starts considering himself an artist. Even as an artist myself, I don't deny that this can happen to people. And it sucks. Rent, anyone?
#9. "Somewhere Over the Rerun aka The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" (Season 2) - I've had a few TV show addictions in my life. Therefore, I refuse to judge Alf when he becomes obsessed with Gilligan's Island. Okay, I can judge a little on his choice of show. Anyway, he becomes so obsessed that he builds a lagoon in the backyard . . . in one night! Yeah, that's right. A three foot alien built a giant lagoon in one night. So, all you construction workers, house builders and landscapers, up yours with your "We'll be done in two weeks" nonsense. But the real story begins when Alf falls asleep and dreams that he is on Gilligan's Island, with original cast members and all! But he quickly realizes that living there may not be all it was cracked up to be. It could have been worse for him, though. He could have been stuck on the island from Lost. Wow, I bet Sawyer's head would have exploded with all the nicknames he could have thought up for that little guy. Oh, and by the way, watch Alf's hair when the show starts as he drills a hole into a coconut. His bangs looks fabulous!
#8. "Promises, Promises" (Season 3) - I have been known to frequently have infatuations with older men, so I felt the plight of Lynn when she brought home a date to her parents, who happens to be an older guy named Eddie, played by Michael Des Barres. Yes, please. Anyway, Kate and Willie do not approve, because he's older. Well, that's their excuse, but I think it's because this guy has the job of a "substitute novelist", which is someone who signs books for other authors who aren't there to do it themselves. Okay? Well, those who can, write, and those who can't, forge. Long story short, Kate and Willie say no dating, Lynn does it anyway, Alf finds out and spills the beans, Lynn gets mad at Alf, and then he spends the episode trying to get her to forgive him. It may not seem like much, but the jokes are really good in this one. And take notice of a guy named Randy. I won't say why he's there, but, trust, he's pretty hilarious.
#7. "Don't It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue" (Season 1) - Here's another episode about Lynn and a boy. She gets a crush on a guy named Scott, who is in a band and is storing their equipment in the Tanners' garage. But the crushing doesn't stop there, because Alf has apparently developed a crush on Lynn. Just go with it. This brings up a bit of a side plot, wherein Alf confides in Kate that he has a crush on someone and Kate assumes it's her. When she tells this to Willie, his reaction is to laugh hysterically. Really? I'll assume he's laughing because it's Alf who has the crush, since, if it was a good looking, human man having a crush on his gorgeous wife who is way out of his league, he would not be laughing. He would be very concerned. Anyway, best thing that happens here is that Alf decides to write a song for Lynn, which morphs into a rock video. And it is the best music video of the 80's!!! For reals.
#6. "La Cucaracha" (Season 1) - Alien bugs. They can be scary. I can admit that. Here, though, our alien bug brings the laughs. So, whilst Alf is cleaning out his spaceship, a Melmacian cockroach escapes in the house. And it has blue eyes. Sweet. Anyway, they spray it with bug spray, but then it gets bigger. They spray it again, and it gets bigger, which makes them conclude that they should stop spraying it. Kate and the kids flee to her mother's house, leaving Willie and Alf to deal with Rodney. Yes, Brian names the cockroach. So do they defeat the evil Rodney? Of course, they do. This is season one out of four. But I won't tell you how they do it. That is classic.
#5. "My Back Pages" (Season 3) - In an attempt to acquire his own room in the attic, Alf begins to rummage through it and all its contents. Those include a lot of stuff from Willie and Kate's past, specifically, the era of the 60's. They find some film of their time at Woodstock, which causes Willie to reminisce further about his college days and his roommate. After a conversation with Alf that kind of troubles Willie, he has a dream about his past, but the roommate he spoke of has been replaced by, you guessed it, Alf. Well, the roommate's nickname was Snout, after all. And we all know about Alf's nose. I actually really liked how they did the dream sequences, and I really like seeing Alf as a hippie.
#4. "Can I Get a Witness?" (Season 2) - Someone broke the Ochmaneks' window by throwing a football through it! Oh, no! Of course, Alf is the obvious and only suspect. He denies that he did it and demands a trial. You guys all know how I love some good courtroom drama. Courtroom comedy, in this case, even better. Yeah, we get Alf wearing a suit and being a lawyer. Eat your heart out, Jack McCoy. So this is, technically, your basic "Let's have family court!" episode, which I think other sitcoms have done, but they do it really well here. So much that you start to believe that Alf really isn't guilty, despite his destructive past. Are we right? Sorry, no spoilers on this one.
#3. "Turkey In the Straw" (Season 3)/ "Someone To Watch Over Me" (Season 2) - I decided to do a tie here, because I just couldn't decide between these two great two parter episodes. The first, in case you couldn't tell, is a Thanksgiving episode. After Alf eats the Tanners' turkey (raw!), they are forced to have dinner at the Ochmaneks' house with their wacky relatives. In the meantime, Alf is visited by a homeless man named Flakey Pete. Because it's the 1920's and all hobos have fun nicknames! Anyway, Pete, who is played by David Ogden Stiers, is determined to turn Alf into the Alien Task Force to get some money. But a friendship strikes up between Alf and Pete and eventually the Tanners, so second thoughts are had, and we may just get a happy ending here. My second pick centers around a neighborhood watch being formed after a series of break-ins. Willie is elected as the leader, but soon, Alf takes over, pretending to be Willie over the CB. He quickly annoys all the neighbors into quitting, but he still wants to do the job. After spotting a burglar trying to get into the Ochmanek's house, again, he goes there in an attempt to stop him. And this event leads us to the second half, which is even better than the first. So much that I can't even fully get into it. Just check it out. And keep an eye out for Iola from Mama's Family in a very different role from that one.
#2. "Mother and Child" (Season 1) - Two words can explain why this episode is so fantastic - Anne Meara. Oh, yeah. In her illustrious career as a funny lady, this is one of the best things she ever did. No lie! Here, she plays Dorothy, Kate's overbearing mother, who comes to stay with the Tanners for "just a little while". Needless to say, Alf is upset about being forced to stay in the garage throughout her visit, so Kate and Willie decide to introduce Alf to Dorothy, but they want to do it their way. Nope. Alf sits up in the kitchen at night to surprise Dorothy, to say the least. Her reaction is priceless, easily one of the best reactions I've ever seen. Now Anne Meara made several appearances on the show as Grandma Dorothy, and the relationship, such as it was, between her and Alf ended up being one of the best things about the series. But this episode was a phenomenal introduction to that great story.
#1. "Superstition" (Season 3) - Over the span of this series, we learn a lot of interesting things about Alf's home planet of Melmac. But what we get here is the absolute best. The episode starts with Alf sauteing Junebugs. What! At least, it's not the cat. They all smell something burning, and it is Brian's history book, which Alf put in the oven to dry after he knocked it into a fish tank. Yeah. Turns out, on Melmac, if you burn a history book, you get seven years of bad luck, followed by seven years of really bad luck. This is because if you burn a history book, you (and I'm quoting this) cheat future generations out of knowledge of the past. What makes that statement even better is Willie's response in which he says "That's rather deep for a planet whose motto is 'Are you going to finish that sandwich?'" Brilliant. They all try to get rid of Alf's supposed bad luck, but he says the only way is the Bibliocide Ritual. Bibliocide? Oh, he killed a book. I get it. In this ritual, the guilty party must ask for atonement, standing in the light of a green full moon, whilst he and five other people wear meat. Yep, meat. I mean, what else would they have to wear, really? Jake Ochmanek says they should do this, substituting the green full moon for a regular full moon looked at the through the lenses of green sunglasses. First, do they even make those? And second, is this the first and only fashion accessory themed deus ex machina in history? So they all agree to take part in this. I won't tell you exactly what happens in this ritual, what Alf has to say and everyone's reaction to what he has to say, because you really need to see it for yourself. It's subtle, yet hilarious. The best kind of comedy.
Yeah, I do love ALF. I know a lot of people have been quite critical of this show over the years, and I usually don't mind people being critical of things. Heck, I'm critical of things. But, really, if you are complaining because a show about a fluffy alien living with a family cannot be taken seriously, you are totally missing the point. Just let this series be what it was and still is - fun! And, in my opinion, it still holds up today. Now you can get the DVDs or you can still catch reruns on The Hub channel. So watch it again or for the first time. The laughs will come. I guarantee.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
