Greetings,
On September 19, 1997, the world lost one if its most gifted artists, and I lost one of my greatest inspirations, with the passing of singer-songwriter Rich Mullins. If you're unfamiliar with him, he was a Christian artist during the 80's and 90's, penning some very well-known and beloved songs for both himself and others, including Amy Grant. He was revered as one of the best songwriters in the genre, if not the best, and some of us would put his brilliance as a musician up against any of the musical geniuses there are outside of Christian music. To put it simply, Rich Mullins was something special.
Okay, I have to talk about myself for a moment for all this to really make an impact. It's leading somewhere, trust me.
When I was growing up, I always felt very different from everyone around me. I know a lot of people say that, but that's because a lot of people do feel that way. I was an unofficial outcast everywhere I went, and I never thought I was in the place or around the people that I was meant to be. Still feel that way sometimes. I had a lot of emotional issues, stemming from the treatment I got from certain people in my life, but like a good little girl, I always kept my mouth shut. I never talked about my wounds. I felt ashamed of them, and I felt like I would be judged as a Christian for bringing all my damage into the light, instead of just praying it away. Don't get me wrong. I do believe in the power of prayer and trusting God to get you through your storms, but I also believe that sometimes He hands you the supplies and tells you to build the shelter yourself. Faith plus works, as we all know. But I was too afraid to even think that I was capable of doing that.
All that led me to some very dark days in my early teenage years. Very dark. I was constantly begging God to come to my rescue, and all the while, I had been writing about my troubles. But I remember thinking that I couldn't do that. What if someone found out that I was dwelling on that darkness? So, I shamed myself for it and kept on begging God to help. As it turns out, He was helping all along. This is what He gave me to work through all of that. My gifts of writing were my supplies, and doing the actual writing was how I was meant to build my shelter from the storm. And for a time, I had clearly forgotten the lessons I'd learned from someone that God had put into my life long before. That person was Rich Mullins.
See, Rich was far from perfect and he never backed down from letting the world know that. Whether it was through his songs or interviews, he always let us know about his scars. He never tried to be something he wasn't, even when what he was happened to be a man who was a bit rough around the edges. That was one of the reasons why I was so drawn to him as an artist and as a person. I was in that same state, even as a kid, but I tried to hide the pain by acting like everything was fine, like I was fine, and it wasn't until I started putting my scrapes and cuts and bruises into the open that they could begin to heal. That was something else he taught me. That, no matter what, there was always a way to heal.
I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't mention something else that Rich Mullins introduced me to. That would be Brennan Manning and his book The Ragamuffin Gospel, which I actually didn't get a chance to read until after Rich passed on. It had a big effect on me, as did the album that Rich made that was greatly inspired by it. The album is called A Liturgy, a Legacy & a Ragamuffin Band, and it is my favorite of all time.
It's also his masterpiece, as far as I'm concerned. If I ever meet anybody who is wary of Christian music for any reason, this is what I recommend to them. That way, they can see what brilliance can spawn from the genre, both musically and lyrically. It is something of a concept album, which means it had great potential to be pretentious, but rest assured, it is far, FAR from that. It's epic and intimate at the same time, and there is a rawness to it that, as usual, let's you see straight into the heart and soul of the artist. What he thought, what he felt, and most importantly, what he believed. It changed my life and continues to do so every time I listen to it.
I suppose that's all I want to say. I wasn't even planning on writing this. It was very last minute, as you can tell. But I thought I should do something to honor Rich Mullins and remember him today. I know it's a cliche to say that he's in a better place now, but I know for certain that he is. That's why, while this day does give a sting to my heart, I always need to remember that this was the day he went home. And I take comfort in the fact that I'll get to see him someday and say thank you to him. And also to God for sending such a blessing into my life.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
