Greetings,
And for the Worst songs of a year I did not have the pleasure(?) to live through. So, here's the thing about the music of this time period. Yes, there was good stuff. I think I proved that yesterday. But much was not so good. Actually, a lot of it was unmemorable and samey sounding. That is, when it wasn't being downright ridiculous. The bad kind of ridiculous. I'm convinced that some of these songs were written by people who spent hours sitting in front of those newfangled microwaves, totally amazed by what they were seeing. But I digress. Let's just get this thing over with. Worst Hit Songs of 1961. According to me, anyway.
#10. "Who Put the Bomp (In the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp) Barry Mann - I've promised to always be honest with you all when I make these lists, but sometimes it's difficult. Like right now, for example. I absolutely LOATHE having to put Barry Mann on here. Don't know who he is? Well, he just happened to write some of the greatest songs ever heard, including my favorite songs by The Righteous Brothers AND The Monkees. Including a song on my best of this year list that I did yesterday. He wrote "Somewhere Out There" from American Tail for crying out loud! I love this guy, but I have always not loved this song. I'm sorry, Barry. Everyone is allowed to write something not so good, and, for me, it's this one. I know some people love it, but I just can't
#9. "Travelin' Man" Ricky Nelson - Say, have you heard about loose men? Yes? Well, here's their theme song. Actually, it's more like an early theme song. There would be more to come. But, seriously, this song is all about a guy who's got women in every port, so to speak. Not cool, man. Not cool. Also, some of the lyrics make me uncomfortable. Like how he refers to certain women based on where they come from. Oh, well, it was the early sixties. It's low on the list, because the music is okay, but...yeah, uncomfortable.
#8. "Where the Boys Are" Connie Francis - Here's a question, Connie. Why are YOU waiting for some man? Perhaps, you got an early release of Twilight, but don't believe the whole "life begins at man" thing.
#7. "Last Night" The Mar-Keys - There was a huge trend on this year's charts - instrumentals. I kid you not. It felt like every other song on there was a no lyric tune. Nothing wrong with that, per se. I personally like some instrumental artists. But these ones? I think I could have picked any of them, but I think this was the worst. It was so repetitive, to a nauseating degree. And I know I shouldn't blame the song in its day for this, but it's one of those stock songs that has been used a million times in movies and TV, so I am sick of it.
#6. "Let's Twist Again" Chubby Checker - Remember how I said something about songs being samey sounding? Yeah, why again did we need another song about doing The Twist? Way to capitalize. I guess it was just Chubby Checker's thing. He had a lot of songs that were about dance crazes, or attempted dance crazes. But I just don't get this one.
#5. "Mother In Law" Ernie K-Doe - Something about this song made me uncomfortable. Hmm, there's seems to be a lot of that going around. It was not the fact that he took a common sitcom joke and turned it into a song. And, yes, I think it was already common even at this point. No, I think it was when he referred to the titular mother-in-law...as SATAN! What is wrong with this song?!
#4. "Baby Sittin' Boogie" Buzz Clifford - Baby sounds. Gross, gurgling, baby sounds. That was the gimmick of this thing. You have GOT to be kidding me!
#3. "Michael" The Highwaymen - Yes, this is "Michael" as in "Michael, row the boat ashore". I don't know if there has ever been a contest for the World's Most Boring song, but I feel like this one might win.
#2. "The Boll Weevil Song" Brook Benton - Okay, I can enjoy a good story song as much as anyone. I happen to think it takes a lot of talent and creativity to do one. But...a boll weevil?! A song about a boll weevil?! I just...WHAT! And then, this lightning bug shows up and they start talking! I just don't get it. Look, I'm sorry if there's some deep meaning behind it that I'm just not getting, which is probably the case and everyone is going to be mad at me. But seriously, was there not a better way to relay the message?
#1. "Does Your Chewing Gum Lost Its Flavor (On the Bedpost Overnight?) Lonnie Donegan - This is a joke, right? And I don't mean a "Ha Ha" funny joke, because this song is not funny. I mean, like are we getting punked with this one? I don't what you were on when you wrote this, person who wrote this whoever you are, but I think you got a bad batch. And who would have a choir singing this at their wedding?! I just...I can't....AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Okay, I'm done with this year. Listen up, youngsters. The next time that Mom or Dad or Grandma and Grandpa try to tell you how much better muic was in their day, I give you permission to use this list as ammunition. But do it respectfully, of course. That is one thing their generation did better.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
