Greetings,
And now for my Worst Hit Songs of 1995. I may be making some people quite annoyed with some of my choices. Remember, though, these are just the worst in my opinion, so if you like any of these songs, that's fine. I'll never deny anyone an ounce of joy they can get from any music. Having said that, here's the ones I think are kind of sucky.
#10. "Scream" Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson - Let me make one thing clear. Despite a few of my choices on this list, I do not have some kind of vendetta against the Jackson family. As a matter of fact, there are a few times in history where I really liked what they were putting out in music. This year was obviously not one of them. I remember when the news got out that Michael and Janet were going to do a duet, and a lot of people got very excited. I wasn't one of them, but I thought it would be, at least, good. Turns out that, to me, it wasn't. Don't get me wrong. The video was cool, and their dancing together was spot on. But if I am judging solely on the music, yeah, this was just a bit much for me.
#9. "You Want This" Janet Jackson - Oh, no! Not again. Yes, this time, I am only picking on Janet. The deal with her, though, is that I really do like a lot of her music. Like, a LOT. This one, however, was just too monotonous for me. It did have this driving dance beat, but it kind of stayed the same throughout. So there was never a moment of "Wow, there it is!" that most of her songs have. Again, I like Janet's songs, but this just wasn't one of my favorites.
#8. "All I Wanna Do" Sheryl Crow - If you read my Best of 1995 list from yesterday, you'll know that one of Sheryl Crow's songs showed up there. It wasn't the massive hit; THIS was the massive hit. I have no idea why. Even Sheryl herself admitted that this thing barely made it onto the album. I can see why. I mean, I get why some people might get a kick out of this, but I just do not. I never have. Maybe it's because I don't drink beer.
#7. "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" U2 - I have had a love/hate relationship with U2 for...well, always. It's mostly for personal reasons, though I try not to judge an artist based on anything other than the music. I often fail, but I still try. Much like with Janet (sorry, Miss Jackson, because this is a Worst list and I am, therefore, contractually obligated to be nasty), I actually really like a lot of their music, but I just could never ever find any appeal to this song. I certainly hope that I'm not judging this based on something other than the music here. Like the fact that it is associated with Batman Forever. Not good.
#6. "You Are Not Alone" Michael Jackson - Okay, I'm sorry that I'm bringing up this song, because it is going to make a lot of people think of the video. You know the video. The one featuring pretty much naked Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie. No, thank you very much. But, alas, I cannot judge the song based on the video. I can judge it based on who wrote it, that person being R. Kelly. Yeah, not a big fan. And not just because of, ya know, reasons. But whether I am or not, I just think this song is pretty weak.
#5. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Nicki French - In case anyone doesn't know, THIS is not the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" about which you may be thinking. This is not the Bonnie Tyler power ballad of yesteryear. I mean, it is, as a foundation, but then someone took it and remixed it and added lyrics and turned it into some electronica, dance song. Just...no. I'm not saying that kind of music cannot be well done. On the contrary, it can be very well done, but that's not what the song was. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was epic, and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. It was big and dramatic and Jim Steinman-y. Which is good, because he wrote it. I guess I believe songs like this should just be left alone.
#4. "Freak Like Me" Adina Howard - I am not a huge fan of the word 'freak'. I'm not sure why, but that's the way it is. And I am certainly not a fan of songs that use this word ad nauseam. This is one of those songs. Also, it really seems like it's trying way too hard to be, I guess, edgy, what with the overt content and all. Funny thing is that the beat and the music isn't all that bad, and the singer, she's very good. I feel like what I might like about the song is so much better than what I don't like that it becomes an unfortunate combination.
#3. "Tootsee Roll" 69 Boyz - Believe it or not, the first time I heard this song was on a Nancy Kerrigan ice skating special. But I am soooo not holding that against it. No, I just really don't like it. I don't like dance songs, and by that, I mean I don't like songs that have a specific dance attached to it that the song tries to get you to do. No! Leave me alone. Plus, I can never really do said dances. Even "The Twist". I just lose my balance, and it's sad. Plus, they spell "boys" wrong in their name and "tootsie" wrong in the title. Although, that second one was probably a copyright infringement thing. Okay, whilst I admire their ingenuity there, I still don't like the song.
#2. "Short D*** Man" 20 Fingers feat. Gillette - Yes, I do find one of the words in the title of this song inappropriate, at least for my blog, so I did the * thing. Sorry, I'm a prude. Anyway, I probably would have put this "song" at number one, except I am not %100 sure that this wasn't meant to be a joke, then nobody GOT it, then it became a hit. Not unlike the whole Naked Came the Stranger thing. I'm not kidding. This thing is so un-song-like, it is unbelievable. And even if it wasn't a case of "Let's make a terrible song and see what happens", I still can't believe that anyone was taking this seriously. But it was still on the Year End Chart, therefore, it is eligible.
#1. "Cotton Eye Joe" Rednex - Hey, what's worse than taking a Jim Steinman song and remixing it as an electronica song? This. Yeah, some Swedish people got together, found an old, OLD country song and did this to it. It's awful. I know some people might qualify this as 'so bad, it's good...or funny' and give it a whirl every now and then, but not me. I can't even listen to this, not even ironically. Look, I get enough headaches on my own, thank you very much. I do not need any help. I just...what is even the heck with this? I can't even talk about it, because it's making the "song" play in my head. Whatever. Worst song of the year.
And there are my Worst of 1995 picks. If you disagree, like I said, that's fine. I'm pretty eclectic, but I just can't like everything. I'm not that cool. And, thankfully, none of these songs discouraged me from wanting to be a writer. So good times.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
