Greetings,
This week brings us the premiere of the new remake of Dallas. Yes, we have another remake coming our way. Now I will probably give it a chance for two reasons. First of all, I love Patrick Duffy. Granted, I knew him more from Step by Step than the original Dallas, but I'm thrilled to see him back. And second, you never know. It might be good. Come to think of it, "you never know" seems to be what most people think when these remakes arise. While anytime a pilot is shown it does tend to be "hit or miss", the remake seems to be the most "hit or miss" venture on which one can embark.
Today, I will be discussing TV shows from the days of yore that have been revamped for a more current generation, not TV shows that have become movies, or vice versa. I just don't have the energy to go into all of that right now.
Now there have been a few remakes that have done quite well for themselves. While I don't think the new 90210 has been too critically acclaimed, (did you really expect it to be?) it has been on for about four years now, so it seems to be commercially successful. Teenagers (to say nothing of people in their twenties who like to pretend they are teenagers) will watch anything.
Of course, we have the new Hawaii Five-O which is doing very well. That is like a miracle to me considering it stars Alex O'Loughlin, who starred in two previously failed shows, Moonlight and Three Rivers. I actually liked both of those shows, but he was on the verge of becoming to the new millenium what Jennifer Love Hewitt was to most of the 90's. In short, a person you should never put in a pilot. But it seems the third time was the charm for him.
And I have heard that the first go round of Battlestar Galactica in 1978 was a major flop. It came back in 2004 to be quite a successful show, albeit with more of a cult following since it wasn't on a major network. Still, it's hard to give any criticism to a show that has gone above and beyond most of these remakes.
Now what to say about the sucky ones? Yeah, I said sucky. There are almost too many to mention, but I'll do my best.
While the new 90210 is hanging in there, the new version of its cousin show, Melrose Place, did not fare as well. When you think back though, the only reason the original Melrose Place was successful was because they abandoned their initial premise. I mean, who wants to observe the goings on of a group of twenty-somethings in LA? Yeah, nobody. But if you make 90% of the characters completely insane, people will watch. And, boy, did they! What was the new version of the show going to do in this non-shockable time in which we live? And I think if I mention that one of the stars was Ashlee Simpson, I can leave it at that.
A failed remake is nothing new to the Aaron Spelling camp. Back in the late 90's, they tried to do Fantasy Island again with Malcolm McDowell (really?) as its star. No such luck. And do I even have to bring up the new Charlie's Angels? Yeah, one of the best things about that cancellation is that it proves that sometimes, even in America, we cannot be fooled by a "T and A" show trying to disguise itself as a "girl power" show.
I think I have figured out what should be avoided if you want to do a successful remake. With the exception of the Battlestar Galactica thing I mentioned, one should probably steer clear of science fiction shows or shows centered around some kind of "advanced" technology. Since we are in such a technologically advanced world now, it seems like it is hard to impress us with things that were considered cutting edge decades ago. That could be one of the reasons - ONE! - why remakes like Knight Rider and Bionic Woman did not survive. And I think it is hard to come up with new ideas for science fiction, so delving into the past might seem like the thing to do. However, that makes me think of the V remake.
I spent many hours in my childhood watching the original V miniseries. I thought it was done brilliantly. If you watch the whole, long thing, you'll see that it is structured quite well. And here is the structure. "Aliens come. They seem nice. They look like us. Uh-oh! Not so much on both counts. Let's fight them. How do we fight them? Oh, here's how. We win. The end" That was perfect, and there was closure. And since a weekly series spin-off of the miniseries didn't even last, why would we redo it now? We know the story already. If you want to make an alien show, make one. But don't slap a used name on it.
And how can talk about crappy remakes without mentioning the most infamous in recent years. One that was so bad it never even made it to air. I am talking, of course, about Wonder Woman. Yeah, because in someone's crazy, crazy thoughts, Lynda Carter was not perfect enough. How, I ask you, how? Now on one of my favorite review websites, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, my boys Linkara, Nash and Film Brain got a hold of the roughly cut and unfinished pilot episode. I do not know how they did it. But even by that brief look, I can see why it was not aired. I can't even begin to try and explain the premise they were attempting because, frankly, I could barely understand it. I will say, though, that I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman was not some psychotic vigilante that would frighten the likes of Batman and The Punisher. (Yeah, I know. One of those guys is DC, the other is Marvel. They cannot touch or there will be an explosion. Sorry!) I know she was supposed to be a threat to criminals, but not to the everyday person. It just didn't work.
I could go on and on, even more so, but I will not. So in closing, let me say this. Since originality seems to be an abandoned art, these remakes will probably continue. Some may be good; most will be bad. I just hope that people will think long and hard about how they want to pay something of a tribute to shows of the past. In this case, I believe a little thought can go a long, LONG way.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
