Greetings,
It's been two weeks since the final episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Now there was no episode on last week and there will be no episode on tonight. So, I'm starting to think they were serious about this show going off the air. Well, so be it. I should have known. Two things proved that this show is over. One: they had a montage in that final episode. Two: I made my top ten episode list. Teardrops are falling.
This was difficult. This show was and is amazing, and we had so many great adventures with Detectives Bobby Goren and Alex Eames and all the other people. It was so hard to only pick ten, so maybe I'll do an honorable mention list someday. Until then, here are the winners.
#10. "The Faithful"(Season 1) - Here is where we first see the depths of Goren's theatricality when it comes to the interrogation room. He is the only person I think we would let get away with having that much fun with a schizophrenic, homeless guy. I'm not saying it's right; I'm just saying it's entertaining. And the donuts!? Talk about a nice blast from the past for D'Onofrio. What do you mean what do I mean? Go watch Full Metal Jacket!
#9. "Eosphoros"(Season 4) - No, I never tried to find out what that title means, but I'm sure it's relevant. For real, though, I did actually do a little research. Turns out that in Greek mythology, Eosphorus (spelled differently, but I think it's the same) is the Morning Star, which is what we also call Lucifer. Yes, there might just be a religious angle to this one. Anyway, this is a "ripped from the headlines" episode about a famous, old lady atheist who gets kidnapped and murdered. As someone who does believe in God, I venture to think she may have changed her mind about Him after the fact. Oh, and also, Frank Whaley was pretty enjoyable in this as one of the guest stars.
#8. "Untethered"(Season 7) - Over the years, many people believed that Goren should have been put away in some kind of facility for those who aren't exactly right in the mind. Because of...reasons. Well, this time, he put himself there. His intentions were noble, though, as he was trying to help out his nephew. Too bad it just made the people he worked for think he actually was crazy. Yep, it took them about SEVEN YEARS to figure out that he was maybe a little out of the ordinary. Don't know if I want those people in charge of the police department. In my opinion, as someone who also likes to think outside the box, strange, eccentric, even crazy is always better than dumb.
#7. "Rispetto"(Season 10) - This episode was alright, but the fact that it was the first one with Goren and Eames after over a year without them, I had to mention it. And Jay Mohr did a great job playing Charlie Sheen. No, wait! I mean, he did a great job playing a drug addict celebrity who goes insane...who is totally not Charlie Sheen...at all. Okay, my lawyer says I've done enough. Still... P.S. No one makes a prank phone call like Goren.
#6. "Anti-Thesis" (Season 2) - How could I not include the episode that introduced us to Goren's greatest nemesis, Nicole Wallace. She is played by the wonderful Olivia D'Abo, who acts this part brilliantly and will do so again in many subsequent episodes. She just knows how to get to Goren like no one else and it is so entertaining to watch. And, in regards to this episode, shout out to another guest actor here, Daniel London. He's not terribly well-known, but I always enjoy his work. Especially here.
#5. "In the Wee Small Hours"(Season 5) - This is one of only a few two part episodes in the series, maybe the only one, so they had to use both the teams of Goren and Eames as well as Logan and Barek from the "other" Criminal Intent. If you're a fan, you know what I mean. All of them together made it exceptionally good, and we were reminded of what a mama's boy Goren is. Not that there's anything wrong with a single man at that age being one. Seriously, though, he's just very, very protective of her, as any good son should be. Besides all that, this episode also feature a cameo by someone from my number one episode. Stay tuned.
#4. "The Unblinking Eye"(Season 4)/"Self-Made"(Season 7) - I had to make it a tie on this one, mainly because the reason they are so good is due to an actor who is in both of them. They feature a guy named Pablo Schreiber (yes, Liev Schreiber's little bro!) who played two totally different characters. But he did both of them so well that he practically stole the show, or should I say shows. Plus, I think he was the only person ever to guest star who is taller than Vincent D'Onofrio! I know it's not much, but congratulations to him. Oh, and there's also apparently an off-screen voice cameo by Matt Damon. No lie. The first episode is about actors; the second episode is about writers. So, if I had to pick which one is better than the other, I'd go with number two, because I'm a writer and narcissist. So, there you go. But it's still a tie.
#3. "Frame"(Season 7) - Where do I begin with this episode? I suppose with a major spoiler warning. We start with Goren's brother dying, then we finally become rid of his ultimate nemesis, the aforementioned Nicole Wallace, or as I call her MoriAdler. What? People compare Goren to Sherlock Holmes all the time, and Nicole Wallace is clearly a combo of Moriarty and Irene Adler. Hence, the nickname. And then, we have Tony award winner John Glover, playing what seems to be a polar opposite of the Smallville character for which he has become best known. It seems that clothes really do make the man. And of course, we get a little crazy from Goren. Need I say more.
#2. "End Game"(Season 6) - While investigating a murderer of the past, Goren manages to dig up a few disturbing secrets from his own past. We have here the beautiful Rita Moreno returning for her final performance as Goren's mother, and Roy Scheider as the jailed serial killer. And, no, he was not imprisoned for killing a lot of sharks. That's right. Jaws humor for one and all. Can it get any better than this? Well, I guess so. This is only number two.
#1. "Sound Bodies"(Season 3) - I won't go into huge detail here, but this episode is the best because of one fine young actor who I'm sure not enough people know about, and one scene that will go down in Law and Order history. The actor is named Billy Lush who I have seen in several different roles, including my number five pick on this list, but this is his best moment. Long story short, and not to give anything away about the plot, he has to make a little trip to the interrogation room. A lot of people do; it doesn't mean they're guilty of anything. While he's there, as usual, Goren starts pushing buttons. Most people would back down from him at this point, and I thought this kid was going to do it. But he did not. He did not, big time. What he did was slap Goren right across the face! He slapped Vincent D'Onofrio! And he lived to tell about it. Not many people can say that. And not many people will ever forget Goren's response to that infamous slap. His response, you may ask? One word: "Ouch!" Genius!!
So there it is. It's all over. I'm sad, but thanks to reruns and DVD, this wonderful show will last forever. I certainly will miss all the great actors and the characters that they brought to life, especially my beloved Bobby Goren, who, I am convinced, is my soulmate in some parallel universe. Anyway, I just hope that now Vincent D'Onofrio will have time to make some more great movies for us all to enjoy. And if he gets bored with that and wants to return to TV, there's always SVU.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer
