I decided to check this blog the other day and I saw that I haven't posted since Memorial Day. And in the interim, I haven't really even thought about this blog of mine. That made a question arise in my mind - Have I lost my passion for this? Then, another question - Should I even do this if I have?
Don't get me wrong. I know there are a ton of things we do in life without passion. But those tend to be the things we have to do, whether we like it or not. This blog, however, is not something I am required to, nor have I ever been. Perhaps, if my Patreon would have taken off . . . But I digress. My point is, I have always written this blog just for fun. I started off with that intention and I have kept it. True, I wanted to share my opinions on trivial pop culture things and things that lean more in the direction of high art. I wanted to share things about my life, the good and the bad, and maybe even inspire or encourage people along the way. And yes, I'll admit it, I was hoping that the writing I did on here might lead to bigger and better things as far as my career goes. But in the end, I just wanted it to be something I could do and enjoy.
After a while, that is exactly what it became. I did enjoy writing this blog, and soon enough, I even became passionate about it. I worked hard when I put these posts together, some times more than others, but I really cared about what I was giving to the public. After a while, though, I stopped caring as much. I would just post things that I threw together at the last minute and I'm not sure they were up to any kind of standard. And that makes me disappointed in myself. As I've often said, I know I don't have a ton of readers who come here, but I am extremely grateful for those who do. And I do NOT want to give any of those people crap to read, not when they take their valuable time to see what I'm doing. It's not fair, and frankly, it's disrespectful to them. To you, who are reading this right now. If I'm going to write something for people to read, whether it's my books or this or anything I put out there, I want it to be the best it can be. And I'm not sure if I've been doing that lately.
So, the question arises again, should I keep doing this if I have no passion to do it? For now, I think the answer is no. Now, I have not lost my passion for writing at all. In fact, it has been all the work I've been doing on my numerous other writing projects that have kept me away from this blog on a regular basis. And I tried. I tried to get on a set schedule for my posts, but then, it became something of a chore. A chore that I felt obligated to do, rather than something I had a great time doing, which was once the case. And while I do consider all of my writing to be my job and the most important work of my life, all the other writing I've been doing has also been very fulfilling. This? Not so much.
Therefore, I've made a decision where this blog is concerned. I am not quitting it. But I will only post when I have something to say. When I want to tell you all about a book or a movie or some music or anything, I will write on it again. I want this blog to be good for the people who are kind enough to read it. I want to give them the best I can do. So, the times when I am able to do that, the times when I can put my heart and soul into something, those are the times that I will write.
Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer