Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Assault by Retail

Greetings Pups,

I'm going to be quick today because tomorrow is a holiday, I hurt my back and I'm still trying to finish my book. But I do have something that needs to be said. Technically, this complaint of which I will speak can be really be applied whenever, but since we are right in the throes of the worst shopping time of the year, I thought I'd say something now. And, no, when I said "worst" rather than "busiest", it wasn't a typo.

I am actually speaking today to those of you who own or run businesses, from the smallest of them all to the biggest in the land. Normally, I do enjoy shopping a bit, though I am the type who goes to the mall as soon as it opens, as to avoid, you know, the others. I like going out and getting things I need or want and then coming home satisfied. I like getting something in a store, taking it to the cashier, paying for that one thing and then leaving. Do you see where I'm going with this?

There seems to be this new trend going around, or maybe it's not so new, wherein people who are checking you out at a store ask you if you want to get about 157 OTHER things besides your initial purchase. To the point of being annoying and even rude. Look, I'm okay with people asking me to donate a dollar or whatever to a charity. I expect it this time of year, and I think it's nice that stores do that. But all the other stuff, no. No, I don't want to pay money to join your retail cult and get %10 off MAYBE everything in the store. I kid you not, there are a lot of stores that I don't even go into because I know I'm going to get attacked. I get with big business, employees have to do what they're told, but, hey, Big Business, stop telling your employees to do these things.

I especially hate it when "luxury" stores hound people this way. And these days, luxury pretty much means everything besides food and clothing. Even with those two, I'm not so sure. If you sell CDs, or books, or games, or that kind of stuff, you might want to just be grateful for every customer you get and not pester them to the point where they don't want to come back. Appreciate their business by just accepting the business they give you and then letting them go.

Anyway, I'm done complaining. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have much for which to be grateful. So Happy Thanksgiving, and if you are one of the shoppers going out Friday morning, or even Thursday night (WHY!?), be safe and behave!


Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Straight From the Theater Review - Thor: The Dark World

Greetings Pups,

Despite my being overwhelmed with a load of work concerning my new book, I did manage to sneak out for a couple of hours the other day to see a new movie. Well, new-ish. I finally went to see Thor: The Dark World, which has been out for two weeks and has probably already been seen by everyone who intended to see it. Yeah, I get a little behind sometimes. But I thought I would go anyway. Now it has been a while since I saw the first Thor, but I managed to follow along just fine. That's not exactly an easy task with me sometimes when it comes to these kind of movies. Anyway, if you haven't seen it already, let me give a quick, spoiler-free synopsis.

First, we get a little 'once upon a time' action when they tell us about Odin's father fighting with these Dark Elves who want to destroy the universe with something called the Aether, and this is all going on many, many ... whatevers ago. The Dark Elves do not destroy the universe, obviously, because they are somewhat defeated, though a few of them do survive. Luckily, the Aether is stashed away where it can do no harm. Ever. Of course, it can't.

Cut to present day, where we're dealing with a boat load of stuff. In Asgard, Loki is standing trial for whatever he did on Earth in The Avengers. I don't really remember because I am not a fan of that movie. Because of reasons. But let me just say "Team Edward Norton". Also, Thor is missing Jane. And Odin's all "Whatever with your weak, 'won't live five thousand years' girlfriend!". On Earth, Jane is missing Thor. Who wouldn't? Am I right, ladies? Also, she's missing Dr. Erik Selvig, because she can't find him either, at first. But she's got Darcy. Yay, in my opinion, though I have heard some people say her character was a bit irritating in this one. Come on, guys. She's the comic relief and I think she did a good job. Also, she gets herself a cute intern. Double yay. And, yes, Thor and Jane are reunited, as you may have guessed by the trailers. Then, some hijinks ensues.

Basically, the story is about those Dark Elves wanting to destroy the universe ... again! Something about the Nine Realms coming together, wherein all the lines between different worlds start to blur, if you will. I really liked how they visually portrayed all of this. Actually, speaking of that, I do think the visuals in this are a lot better than they were in the first. That could be because I didn't see the first one in the theater, or because I think we spend way more time in Asgard than we do on Earth in this sequel. Either way, it was really stunning to see, and I didn't even see it in 3-D. Okay, let's talk about those actors.

Most of the cast from the first Thor are back. We've got your Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgard, Rene Russo and my girl, Kat Dennings, just to name a few. Again, Tom Hiddleston kind of steals the show as Loki, because that's his job, I guess. Also, this time we get Christopher Eccleston as Malekith the Bad Dude. But herein lies a problem. Due to certain people clearly wanting to cater more to fan service than having a really compelling villain, we actually get a very generic villain. And I don't blame the actors for this. Christopher Eccleston did the best he could with the material he was given, but sadly, that material had him playing a character that was not that memorable. How? How do you make Christopher Eccleston, one of the most dynamic actors I have ever witnessed, kind of boring. And then there's Hiddleston. Look, I get it. The ladies love Loki. I am fine with his being in the movie and even having some great stuff to work with, and Tom also did a wonderful job. But he was not the villain this time. Not the main villain anyway. So that leads to the story, as grand as they tried to make it, not seem to have such high stakes.

But, all in all, I'd say this was not a terrible movie. It's actually kind of good in some areas. Much better than some of the stuff that Marvel has been giving us. If you liked the first one, I don't think this one will disappoint you. Also, you'll get some sequel bait, if not for another Thor movie, then definitely for the next Avengers movie. That's fine. I kind of like when they do that. So, if you haven't already seen it and you're a fan, go see it. It's worth a trip to the theater, if for nothing else than those beautiful visual effects I mentioned. I just hope that when it comes to things like story and characters, they try a lot harder next time.

Love and full moons,
Becky the Writer

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Book Writing Crunch

Greetings Pups,

For those of you who visit this blog regularly, you may have noticed that the number of days between my posts, the last few times anyway, has been growing. As much as I wish that wasn't the case, I do have somewhat of a good excuse. I've been trying to finish up a new book for publication, one that I pray will be ready and selling by the end of the year. The actual writing aspect has been done for some time, but I am now doing the technical things, the typing and editing and whatnot. Yeah, I am not so crazy about that part of the process. I am a writer driven by creativity, and not to say this part can't be creative, but just not as much. Nowhere near as much.

So that is what has been occupying a load of my time lately and has, therefore, been slightly interfering with my blog. Now I have still been putting stuff up, but I do my best to work on my posts so they are worth reading and entertaining. With little extra time, I haven't been able to do that so much, and I don't want to put up a bunch of crappy stuff, even if I can edit later. That's why things aren't going up as frequently as they normally do, and why it might be that way for a bit longer.

The good news, though, is that, if all goes well, I should be completely finished with this new book very soon. And even though I will be spending much of next year working on another new one, as well as polishing up some older novels that I've written over some time, I will certainly put a lot of effort into what I write here. Because I appreciate everyone who reads my blog, and I certainly don't want to short change anyone.

So say a little prayer for this time in my life, and that will be greatly appreciated as well. Also, it will be very, very helpful.


Love and full moons,


Becky the Writer

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The One Seasoner's Club - Time of Your Life

Greetings Pups,

A lot of great actors and actresses have been on shows that lasted only one season. Some more than others. One fine actress who has had to endure this is Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt. In the nineties, she was on such "One Seasoner's Club" contenders as Shaky Ground, The Byrds of Paradise and McKenna. But today, I'm going to focus on a short-lived series of hers that I actually watched, Time of Your Life.

Time of Your Life aired during the 1999-2000 season and was a spin-off of Party of Five. Love (yes, I'm calling her 'Love' in this thing!) played a character named Sarah Reeves Merrin in both shows. In Party of Five, she was mostly known as Bailey's girlfriend. Or so I've been told. Yeah, I didn't really watch the show all much, but I was a big fan of Love's. Still am. So I decided to follow her to the show, Time of Your Life. In that spin-off, her character heads to New York City to find information about her biological parents. And she makes a new group of friends. And that's really all I can remember about it.

Well, that's all I could remember about it. Then, I did a bit of research, and it served to jog my memory. At least enough to give you all a quick synopsis of the plot and the characters.

As I mentioned, Sarah goes to New York to find her roots or whatever. She ends up staying in an apartment that her mother once lived in, where she rooms with Romy, an actress. They also have this landlord named Cecilia, who I seem to remember being a bit mean, or somewhat standoffish, at least in the beginning. Then, there was Joss, a girl with whom Sarah works at a bar, and J.B., a guy who lives in the building across from the girls and is Romy's boyfriend...occasionally. Oh, and of course, we need a love interest for Love. Enter John Maguire or Mag, as he was called, because why not? He worked in a music store and was Sarah's also occasional boyfriend. Man, I guess no one had a super steady relationship on this show.

Anyway, besides Jennifer Love Hewitt, this show had some decent actors that may look familiar. We got Johnathon Schaech, probably best known for his role in That Thing You Do!. Pauley Perrette, best known for her role on NCIS, and Jennifer Garner, best known for ... being Jennifer Garner. So, yeah, I'd say the cast was pretty solid, and the show most likely had a built-in fan base from Party of Five. So what went wrong?

Frankly, who knows? At the time, Jennifer Love Hewitt was very popular, but I guess the show just didn't catch on with audiences. Sometimes, that just happens. Or, perhaps, their target audience was busy watching the debut season of Angel. The ratings were kind of low, and apparently, FOX tried to save it by putting it on hiatus for five months. Huh? Then, they made an attempt to bring it back in the summer, dubbing it "Summer of Love". Get it! Puns! Well, that didn't work either, and the show got cancelled.

So, did it deserve a second season? Um, yes and no. I think sometimes, with a spin off, the people making it can get a bit complacent, thinking that since they clearly already have a fan base, they don't have to try so hard. I'm not exactly saying that's what happened here, but when I watched it, I felt like they could have tried a little more. But I didn't think it was that bad, and I do love Love, so I think with another season they might have improved things.

And there you have my thoughts on Time of Your Life. Not great, but not bad. Does it really matter though? We still have the adorable Jennifer Love Hewitt around. What more could we want?


Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Top Ten Star Trek Episodes

Greetings Pups,

So let's talk about Star Trek, shall we? I was one of those people who was pretty much raised on it, but, exclusively, on the original series. We never messed with the other ones. Although, I have seen TNG, and I liked the few episodes I have seen. I certainly enjoy myself some Patrick Stewart. Just speak, sir. Just speak, and I'll be happy. Still, I have always been a hardcore fan of the original Star Trek, which may or may not have had to do with the extreme crush I had on the William Shatner. Yes, I said THE William Shatner. I should also say the YOUNG William Shatner, so there will be less judgement. P.S. This crush may show its face a few times in this post. That aside, it's kind of amazing that Star Trek barely lasted for three seasons, but it had such an overwhelming effect. Compare that to certain shows that have had much longer runs, but that you would struggle to even remember. I'm looking at you...show I can't remember that lasted longer than Star Trek. I guess it's the quality, not the quantity. And, say what you will about Star Trek, I don't think anyone can say it's not entertaining. So, why not do a top ten episodes list?

Now I'm not going to go into some big synopsis about the show or the characters. I would like to assume that everyone, even non-fans, know what the deal is. If not, I welcome you to do a bit of research, and then come back. Also, I may be giving some spoilers, so I'd say this list is for the true fans. I hope they all enjoy it. And forgive me if I leave out any obvious picks or put in some not so obvious ones, but, for one reason or another, these are my favorites. Here we go.


#10. "Charlie X" (Season 1) - Whilst we had many great characters on the Enterprise on a regular basis, we also got a lot of interesting ones showing up for only one episode. One of them was a guy named Charlie. So, the crew of the Enterprise takes aboard a seventeen-year-old kid who was found abandoned in some wreckage or something. Initially, he just seems a bit awkward and everyone tries to help him and whatnot, but then he starts to get a little obnoxious and showing that he, apparently, has some strange psychic powers. Seriously, he does this creepy, eyes roll back into his head thing. Weird. It seems to be triggered by this crush he gets on Yeoman Janice Rand, and why wouldn't that happen, what with that awesome beehive of hers? She does, however, ask Captain Kirk to speak to him about the proper way to treat a woman. Does anyone else find that a bit hilarious when you think about it? Anyway, Charlie does wreak some havoc, but they also show him as a bit sympathetic, proving that Star Trek can give us some complex characters. We also get some freestyle Uhura singing whilst Spock played a ... I'm not sure, I think it was like a Vulcan auto-harp or something. Good times. Oh, and a shirtless Captain Kirk. Something I found quite appealing at the time. Yeah, sorry.

#9. "This Side of Paradise" (Season 1) - So the Enterprise has to check on this Federation colony that has been exposed to some radiation and make sure they're okay. While there, Spock runs into this woman, Leila, who apparently had a thing for him back in the day, naturally. They also find these strange flowers that spray spores and make people act a bit weird. What everyone really remembers about this one is what happens to Spock. He gets sprayed and starts acting, for lack of a better word, human. He's laughing and swinging from tree branches and calling the captain 'Jim'. Okay, maybe the tree branch swinging isn't exactly 'human'. but whatever, it was still kind of great. It also did good to give Leonard Nimoy a chance to have some fun, as well. Finally. It can't be easy on the face muscles to remain so stoic all the time.

#8. "The Way to Eden" (Season 3) - Yes, this is my only pick from Season 3, and some people consider it one of the worst, actually. Sorry, but I find it very amusing. If you want me to call it a "good/bad" episode, fine. The basic plot in this one is that this doctor and his followers come aboard the Enterprise and demand to be taken to a planet that they consider paradise which they call Eden. Because...original! But let's be honest here. This one is all about the hippies. Yes, some members of this little group are, in fact, space hippies. Groovy. Hey, it was 1969. Are you really shocked at this? And they sing. More singing. Apparently, someone wanted a musical, and this is the closest we ever came, I think. Heading out to Eden, yea brother, indeed.

#7. "Who Mourns For Adonais?" (Season 2) - Hey, do you like Greek mythology? Well, then, you're either going to love this episode or hate it. Okay, the Enterprise is strolling along in space, as it tends to do, and they see a giant green hand, which grabs them. No lie. Then, they see the face of a guy with a golden wreath on his head, saying that they have to obey him or he'll crush them, which he does, a little bit. Anyway, Captain Kirk agrees to go down to his planet with a team. A team that does not include Spock, because space face does not like his pointed ears. Go figure. He does mention something about Pan, though. Turns out, that this guy claims to be the god, Apollo. He keeps referring to them as his children and that he wants to take care of them as long as they worship him. Oh, and he also gets the hots for this female lieutenant named Carolyn. Of course, he does. That's what the gods do, am I right? But, wait! Scotty also has a thing for her. Catfight! Well, Apollo does give her a dress that's a little, well, it's a tad on the slutty side. I kid you not. She was barely covered on top, so I'm not really sure who gets a point in that one. Anyway, shenanigans ensue, but, eventually, Apollo turns out to be a bit of a cry baby. Don't they all.

#6. "Arena" (Season 1) - Kirk fights a giant lizard man and builds a gun that basically shoots diamonds. I'm sorry, do I have to tell you something else to explain why I love this episode?

#5. "The City on the Edge of Forever" (Season 1) - This episode is considered by a lot of people to be the best of the series. Obviously, I agree that it is very good. Okay, the plot. Somehow, Dr. McCoy, after tending to Sulu, accidentally injects himself with an overdose of cordrazine, whatever that is, and it makes him go a little crazy. He ends up beaming down to a planet and jumping through this time portal, where he alters the past and causes the ship and the whole Federation to be non-existent. Kirk and Spock must follow him and see what he altered, hopefully fixing it. They end up in NYC (Yay!) in the 1930's (Boo!) and meet an activist named Edith Keeler, played by Joan Collins. Shock of all shocks, Kirk falls for her. Unfortunately, she is supposed to die. What McCoy did was save her life which actually altered history. So they had to let her die to set things right. It actually is a very powerful episode, and the acting is really top notch. In fact, I would say it's some of Shatner's best.

#4. "Miri" (Season 1) - I think I may have mentioned that I'm not exactly a kid person, and this may be where it started. And I was a kid when I first saw it. After getting a distress signal from a planet that looks a lot like Earth, Kirk and his landing party head to it. First, they get attacked by a humanoid creature who is very strong and covered with bluish splotches. After they fight him off, he seizes and dies. Then, they find a young girl named Miri, who tells them that they are "grups" or grown-ups. The "grups" have all died, after turning crazy and violent. Holy crap! There is so much random stuff in the Star Trek world that can turn someone crazy. Anyway, it is because of this strange disease that there only children left, since it hits you when you reach puberty and start growing up. Really? Are you sure you don't want to say it hits you on your 16th birthday so you can be more cliche? Anyway, the disease that affects them is also starting to affect the landing party. Long story short (maybe), the kids go a little crazy, a little early I guess, trying to defend themselves. Crazy and kind of annoying. No, wait, really annoying. And, of course, Miri, the girl hitting puberty, crushes on Captain Kirk. Why not? Obviously, I'm not going to judge. I guess I should say something about the kiddie cast. Miri is played by Kim Darby, who would go on to success in the classic True Grit, and Michael J. Pollard was great as Jahn. Some of the kids had Star Trek ties, like the daughters of William Shatner and Gene Roddenberry and the sons of Grace Lee Whitney, who played Yeoman Rand. Also, we got John Megna, best known as 'Dill' from To Kill a Mockingbird., and Iona Morris and her little brother Phil. Yep, the wonderful Phil Morris, who would one day play The Martian Manhunter on Smallville, was in this episode. WOW! This guy loves outer space!

#3. "Space Seed" (Season 2) - And here we have the episode that led us to the greatest of the Star Trek films, Star Trek: Into Darkness. Oh, crap! No, I meant Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. Sorry, my Benedict Cumberbatch crush sometimes takes over and I say crazy things. Yes, it is here where we first meet Khan Noonien Singh, a villain that will live in infamy and get a legacy all his own in the world of Star Trek. And Ricardo Montalban. Just...Ricardo Montalban. I really have nothing else to say about this one.

#2. "Mirror, Mirror" (Season 2) - Have you ever seen a show where a character has an evil twin or an evil clone and said evil one shows their evilness by the fact that they have a goatee? I think this may have been the inspiration for that. This is the one where Kirk, Uhura, Scotty and McCoy get sucked into some kind of parallel universe where the Enterprise is a little different. Different, like Spock has a goatee, and everyone is more savage. I mean, even Sulu, and I hate to use this word, gets a tad 'rapey'. Yeah, everyone kind of hams it up in this episode, and it is actually very entertaining. However, if you are someone who has always found the micro-minis that the women wear to be a bit demeaning, please don't watch this one. Whilst the regular attire of the female officers clearly shows that the Federation does not have much use for women above a Size Four, the outfits in the parallel universe are basically a big, flashing sign that says "No Fatties Allowed". Still, a great episode, though.

#1. "The Trouble With Tribbles" (Season 2) - I like to laugh, and this episode never fails to make me laugh. And whilst the other children were asking for puppies and kitties as pets, I had my hand out waiting for a Tribble. They purred! Seriously, they full-on purred! I don't even think I have to go into plot here. The point is that the antogonists-ish are these little balls of fur. Of course, we get an actual bad guy in the end, but these little suckers annoy the crap out of the crew as they multiply. Yes, I said multiply. I know that, for the most part, this series is a drama, but, to me, this comedically charged episode is the absolute best.


And there you have it. I don't know if I can be called an actual Trekkie, since I don't really own any memorabilia, I've never been to any cons, and I certainly have never dressed up as a character. But I am certainly a fan of Star Trek. It's just straight up, really great entertainment. Always has been, always will be.


Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Monday, November 4, 2013

Making Some Changes

Greetings Pups,

Okay, so some of you who read this blog regularly may have noticed a few changes. Well, one in particular. I have changed the name of the blog and how I will be signing each post. Because...who knows? I guess, now that everyone knows that I'm behind this production, it doesn't really matter what I'm calling myself. So, I've switched from a nickname to my actual name. My actual first name anyway, and I am a writer so I added that as well. Now I'm Becky the Writer, because I am. So I went back and amended all my posts, hopefully. I don't think I missed anything, but I will probably go back and do some more checking.

Now for those of you who officially follow me on this blog, my URL has not changed. You know, the ".com" part. I was going to change it, but all the redirecting and whatnot is a bit complicated for me to figure out. Besides, a lot of people are getting to me now, through my website, so what would really be the point. But if I can find some computer genius to work some magic, then maybe. I'll be sure to say something if that ever happens.

That's about it. Everything else is still the same and will continue to be the same. I haven't changed what I'm doing or what I'll be writing about, so if you like what I've been doing, it's all good.


Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer


Saturday, November 2, 2013

Movie 43 - Movie Review

Greetings Pups,

I know that officially I referred to this as a review in the post title, but let me amend that a bit by calling it a warning. See, I enjoy writing reviews on my blog, and I have a lot of fun talking about less than good films. I devoted an entire week to doing so, after all. And even though I might discourage you all from seeing something if I think it sucks, I usually say, in the end, that if you think you'd like it despite the quality and whatnot, go ahead and check it out. Today, however, I will be telling you all straight up to not see this movie. And the film I speak of is Movie 43. Perhaps, you've heard of it.

For those of you who, thankfully, have never come across anything about this movie, let me give you some info. Not too much, though, because I don't want you to have the bad dreams. Movie 43 is a "comedy" anthology film consisting of a bunch of sketches with different actors, writers and directors, all with the framing of a guy pitching ideas. I know that doesn't sound so bad, but that's only because I haven't gone into any detail on it, and I don't think I will very much. But I do believe I can say, with absolutely no hyperbole, that this is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. Ever.

As I said, there are different types of bad movies. The funny ones, the crazy ones, the boring ones, right? This is none of those. This is uncomfortable bad. Very uncomfortable. I mean, it is tasteless and disgusting and humorless and literally pointless. There is not a single redeeming quality in this thing. Not one. Well, unless you enjoy things like bestiality, racism, incest and just a touch of child pornography. Yeah, I consider a girl of fifteen or so to be a child, forgive me. I guess somebody thought that this all was a good idea. So, needless to say, the content is my biggest problem here, but let's get to my other biggest problem. Let's get to the cast.

I am utterly dumbfounded at the level of acting talent they got to be in this film. Seriously, if you just saw half the cast list, you would think someone was producing an epic masterpiece of cinema. Obviously, that is not what happened. Now, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of actors here that I would expect to see in a film this crude. People like Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott, and Seth MacFarlane. Yes, I was not shocked that they were a part of this. I am, however, shocked that Adam Sandler didn't show up here, what with his history of trying to convince the world that pedophilia is hilarious. But then we have other actors who are not only good, but critically acclaimed and highly respected. People like Kate Winslet, Gerard Butler, Uma Thurman, who probably did this to overshadow her Poison Ivy past, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, who clearly did this to prove that, yes, she could sink lower than Catwoman, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, who I'm guessing is here because he thought we needed another reason to believe that his brother is a better actor than he is. Yeah, Liev, your little bro has played a guy named "Pornstache" and it's still more respectable than this. Seriously though, I really just don't know how or why all of these people agreed to be a part of this abomination. Although, I have heard some stories where that is concerned, none of which I will discuss, because they are way WAY too despicable. Just trust that there are a lot more abhorrent people in Hollywood than any of us ever imagined.

Okay, let me end this already. As someone who truly cares about you, my readers, I am pleading with you to never, ever put yourself through a viewing of this film. Warn your friends, warn your family to just stay away. You will thank me and anyone else who tells you not to watch this. There are plenty of good bad movies out there. You don't need to put yourself through this.

You know, I will end by saying one positive thing about this movie. At least, they cut out the part with the necrophilia. No, I'm not kidding.



Love and full moons,


Becky the Writer

Friday, November 1, 2013

Supergirl - Movie Review

Greetings Pups,

I think we have gotten spoiled in the past few years, especially when it comes to our superhero movies. Just look at those last few years. Now, I'm not saying I like all. In fact, I mostly do NOT like them. Still, they look good, I guess, and I assume at least a few people are trying. But, my word, has it been a roller coaster ride where these films are concerned, in the past thirty years. We still see some bad ones occasionally, and back in the day, we had a few good ones. But what I remember as a child in the realm of superhero movies was not very positive. I had things like Superman 3, Superman 4 and, my review target for today, Supergirl. Yes, I am picking on Krypton today, it would seem. They'll get over it.

When I speak of the fact that we've always had some bad superhero movies, I think of how a lot of them have one thing in common. Every one that has had a female protagonist has been considered, at best, not so good, and, at worst, downright horrible. That could be for any number of reasons, but I've always felt like no one ever bothered to put a ton of effort into them. One of the pioneers of such was the 1984 film, Supergirl. This one landed right smack in the middle of the whole Superman movie franchise. I think a lot was riding on this, due to the disappointment of Superman 3. In fact, I heard rumors that the plot was supposed to center on Superman falling prey to a female villain and Supergirl coming to help him. Then, that got whittled down to him having a cameo, then just nothing. And we ended up with a very confusing and convoluted plot, such as it was, which left a lot of people wondering "What the heck?" So I suppose that means that my sharing the story with you will be difficult for us all. I'll try though, and P.S. Spoilers!

The movie starts in Argo City, which was once a part of Krypton, but somehow broke off when it exploded and managed to survive. Is that even possible? Anyway, we meet a pre-Supergirl Kara Zor-El played by Helen Slater. She lives there with her parents, Zor-El and Alura played by Simon Ward and Mia Farrow. And she has a creepy old guy, best friend named Zaltar. And it's Peter O'Toole, in the role that screamed, "Okay, you won't give me an Oscar. Now I'm gonna act like someone who doesn't deserve one!" To be fair, I don't think the bad performance in this was his fault. Most likely, the crap of the script rubbed off on him. Anyway, Zaltar's got this magic wand that he makes stuff with, like trees, and Kara is impressed. She's even more impressed when she sees that, in order to bring life to his art, he has taken the Omegahedron, the power source of the whole city. Yeah, so I'm all for suffering for my art, even making others suffer occasionally, but risking the lives of everyone I know would be pushing it a little even for me. Especially when the entire rest of the planet has already blown up!! Cautious much!

Anyway, they talk about Earth, to where Kara knows that her cousin has gone. Her cousin who WE know as Superman and Clark Kent, but who she only knows as Kal-El. Keep this mind because it is very important later. So Zaltar speaks of leaving with Kara and then with Kara's mother, as the young girl uses the wand to make a bug looking creature, which she brings to life. It ends up flying around and busting a hole through the sheet of plastic that protects the city. Exactly. Why would a city that comes from a world that just blew up take precautions greater than that of covering themselves with plastic wrap? Anywho, the Omegahedron gets sucked through said hole, as does Kara almost. Then, everyone gets mad at Zaltar for taking the power source and losing it, which will result in the slow death of the city. Yeah, they are justified. He says he'll go get it in this ball looking spaceship thingy, but Kara climbs in it first, and off she goes. Kids, am I right?

Okay, so f I'm going to give this film any compliment concerning the special effects, I must admit that the visuals they have as she's going through space are pretty cool to see. Oh, and speaking of space, may we now address the thing about this film that has been cause for much confusion over the decades. When Zaltar is talking about Earth and the other planets, he tells her that those places are in outer space, but Argo City is in inner space. What the crap? I've also heard it referred to as the space between spaces, which doesn't help much. So I did a little research to see if I could get a decent explanation. The main consensus seems to be that inner space is another dimension which exists between water molecules deep in the ocean. Go figure. However, if that is true, explain to me how the Omegahedron falls out of the sky when it comes to Earth. Oh, and she apparently got her powers when she goes from inner space to outer space. Way to retcon the entire reason as to why Kryptonians have special powers in our world. I say we just call all of this Hollywood science and move on.

So, we watch Kara on her journey for a couple of minutes, then cut to some people on a picnic by the lake. And it's Faye Dunaway playing an "I wanna rule the world" magic lady named Selena, and she is with her boyfr-..uh...partn-...no...dude she hangs out with, Nigel. All of a sudden, the Omegahedron falls from the sky into a bowl of ... something that makes a squishy noise when stuff falls into it. Somehow, Selena knows that this thing is magic and decides to use it to take over the world, as you do. In the meantime, Kara emerges from a lake and starts crushing rocks and using her heat vision to make flowers bloom and flying hither and yon. My, she certainly has learned to use her powers quickly. You know what she's not doing quickly? Looking for the power source to take back to her city in order to save the lives of everyone she knows! I guess we can give her the benefit of the doubt, since she got a little distracted due to being almost assaulted by a couple of guys in an alley. Yes, this is a thing that happens quite soon after her arrival on Earth. Why did this scene happen? Filler, maybe? Also, this is where she reveals that she knows that her cousin is Superman on Earth. I don't know HOW she knows that, since there is no way she could. Oh, wait, the script told her.

Anyway, thanks to this little detector bracelet that Zaltar made for her, Kara figures out(finally)that the Omegahedron is in the vicinity of an all girls school, which apparently means she has to enroll there. What? But here's where things get even more ridiculous. First, she changes her clothes and hair, magically, by walking behind trees. So be it. Next, she meets the principal where she joins the school with the name Linda Lee and says she was recommended by her cousin, Clark Kent. Again, how does she know that's what his alias is? There is literally no way! And, then, the cherry on top is that her roommate ends up being Lucy Lane, as in Lois Lane's sister. Also, Jimmy Olsen is in town because he is sort of dating Lucy. WHAT are the flippin' odds? And Linda/Kara proceeds to spend her time doing a bunch of schoolgirl things, because she has nothing better to do apparently. Now please don't say to me that this is no different than Superman integrating himself into life with the humans. There is a huge difference. Superman is on Earth pretty much permanently, so he must create an alternate life. Supergirl, however, is on the clock. She doesn't have time for this silliness. But, whatever, we need something to drive the plot forward.

In the meantime, Selena has decided that this random landscaper dude named Ethan is going to be her consort as she rules the world. Yeah, good choice. He was cute and all, but he could barely put a sentence together. Anyway, she gives him a love potion that will make him fall in love with the first person he sees when he wakes up ... for a day. Yeah, the spell lasts for a day. But Selena gets distracted, landscaper dude wakes up and wanders out of her house and into the town, where Selena sends a bulldozer to catch him and bring him back. Whatever works. But it doesn't. Havoc is wreaked, there is collateral damage, Dirty Harry style, except not near as cool, and Supergirl saves Ethan. So, of course, he wakes up and sees her, as Linda, mind you, and falls in love with her. Selena freaks out, because she's watching from her crystal ball. May I remind her that the spell only lasts a day. Wait it out, sister. And, ultimately, this is what our superhero movie will become. Two girls fighting over a boy. What the heck?

Oh, sure, they try to toss some things in there, like Kara getting sent to the Phantom Zone where she finds Zaltar only to lose him again. Why even bother? And, of course, the lame battle at the end where Supergirl, at one point, apparently forgets that she can fly, but eventually beats Selena and takes the Omegahedron back home. But that was just to throw us off the scent that this was nothing but a bad chick flick with occasional superpowers. Because what else are you going to do with a female protagonist AND antagonist? All girls do is fight over boys. Well, that and shop, but I guess we didn't have time for that. And that is the movie.

So, in my opinion, I think this thing had potential to be, if not very good, at least, a little good. But everything went awry and we ended up with this. You know, I actually think Helen Slater wasn't that bad as Supergirl. She just had nothing to work with. And Peter O'Toole and Faye Dunaway, what were you doing here? Look, in the realm of bad movies, I say check this out once, just to say you've seen it. And mock it. But once is enough. Still, if you want a great Supergirl thing to watch, get yourself to Smallville Season 7. That will make it all better.


Love and full moon,
Becky the Writer