Friday, December 31, 2010

Top Ten Law and Order Episodes

Greetings Pups,

If you've come for a Top Ten Law and Order episode list, good for you. However, I've made some changes. I originally made this list at the end of 2010, right when the show ended and before I got my massive complete series DVD collection. So, in lieu of a Top Ten, I've done a Top One Hundred. Yes, you can do that with a show that lasted twenty years. If you have read THIS list before, first, thank you for returning, and second, I've made changes to my Top Ten episodes. That can happen when, the first time, you're throwing a list together quickly, trying to narrow it down to only and still also being slightly distraught over the cancellation. However, those episodes did still make the Top One Hundred. So, thanks again, for visiting, and now go ahead and search for more Law and Order goodness.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

For Dennis

Greetings Pups,

Two things make me sad today. First, it's the anniversary of the death of Dennis Wilson. Second, I'm sure there are many people who do not even know who Dennis Wilson is. The easy answer is to say that he was the drummer for the Beach Boys, which is no small thing, but he was so much more than that.

When people think of the Beach Boys, hopefully, the first thing they think of is the wonderful music they created. Then, of course, they remember the problems that Brian Wilson encountered while trying to keep up with the label of genius with which everyone branded him. I sympathize. He was a genius and it must have been difficult to not disappoint everyone by falling short of that title.

But imagine being a genius and not having anyone know. Well, I think that was what happened with Dennis.

Don't get me wrong. I'm certain that his family and those closest to him knew exactly the amazing things of which he was more than capable. It was the public at large that I don't think ever realized what a gift he truly was and still is. All one has to do is listen to his masterpiece album Pacific Ocean Blue to know what we lost.

That album is full of proof positive that Dennis was as blessed, if not moreso, than anyone we label as a legend. Each song, each note, each word is drenched with everything that made him what he was, and he was no doubt extremely proud of this piece of art. Anyone who considers themselves an admirer should be proud of him as well. And anyone who listens to this and feels nothing must have only the coldest parts of that Pacific Ocean coursing through their veins.

Without a doubt, Dennis Wilson is one of the most underrated artists of all time. It's fine to remember and honor him today, but I choose to do so each time I get lost in the beautiful music he gave us. It was as much of a treasure as he will always be.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Friday, December 17, 2010

New Jersey, New Target

Greetings Pups,

Believe it or not, I never judge a group of people by their worst specimens. That is difficult to do, because it is usually those worst specimens who succeed best at making their way to television.

As many of you may have noticed, our latest easy targets are coming from the state of New Jersey. I mean, I have not seen this much excitement over this state since Slippery When Wet was released. I am amazed at how these people have come to receive so much fame, and I wonder what special skills they posses that qualifies them to deserve it. Let me count the ways. They all seem to have Oompa-Loompa fake tans, an obsession with showing off their chests (I include women and men here!), an overwhelming attraction to promiscuity, and hairdos that use enough product to remind us all that, "Oh, yeah, the ozone layer IS still depleting, isn't it?"

Now I am certain that there are many fine people in the state of New Jersey that do not fall into the preceding group. I imagine that they are not at all happy about the way they are being portrayed in the media. I wouldn't be happy about that either. I do, however, believe that there is one group in this country that is ecstatic about how much of a mockery New Jersey has become.

Yes, you guessed it - Southerners!

They are probably thrilled that, at least for the time being, they get the day off. Oh, sure, we'll all still laugh at a redneck joke, as well we should. But the accents, the mullets, the (implied) inbreeding and uneducated ways can all be wiped out with one word. Snooki! God bless her and I hope she grows!

So, make fun if you must, but remember, no matter where you live in the world, your day to be a punchline will always arrive.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Banana Bread Comics

Greetings Pups,

I was contemplating the other day on the things that I find amusing, things that really make me laugh. That led to thinking about the comedians I enjoy. Finally, I ended up thinking that a lot of them have the wrong idea about what is needed to make something truly funny. And these fine people I have dubbed "Banana Bread Comics".

Let me explain.

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not hate on carbs, especially all types of bread, especially banana bread. Now I have had experiences where I would be sitting in a room, maybe at home or my grandmother's house, or maybe I just walk into someone else's house, and it hits me. That sweet aroma that lets me know that someone is making banana bread. God bless them, right? I'm sure you all know what a delight that is. So I make my way to the kitchen, and, there it is, the banana bread. All hot and steamy on a plate with just a smidge of butter that has just finished melting, and it's all for me. So I pick it up, just savor the scent of it for a moment, then I take a bite, expecting it to melt in my mouth. But all of a sudden, I realize that I have to chew it and chew a lot more than bread usually makes me. I turn to the baker, whomever it may be, and say, "What did you do to this banana bread?" and they say,"Oh, I put nuts in it." My response to that is, "Okay, why did you ruin it?!"

Look, I don't hate nuts, on their own. I actually quite enjoy them. But I am a purist. Do you know what I like in my banana bread? Bananas and bread. No need to add things that are unnecessary and only serve to drag down the quality of a fine item.

Okay, I told you that to tell you this. I realize that many stories that comedians tell are flat-out dirty and you can't work your way around those. However, many things they say are very funny and, believe it or not, clean, and what to they do? Drop in a buch of f-bombs and other assorted swear words for no good reason. So, you see, those nice, clean stories are the banana bread, and the swear words are the nuts. Hence, "Banana Bread Comics".

Now, as a writer, I have to understand people expressing themselves however they choose to do so. But, for comedians, it is often the foul language that keeps some people away. So less cussing, bigger audience, more money. Maybe. Just an idea.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

For John

Greetings Pups,

Anyone who has been taught well in their lives knows exactly why today is significant. Thirty years ago today John Lennon died. I could say we lost him, but that would be impossible. He made sure we never would lose him.

Now I could do what everyone else will do today and go on and on about how wonderful he was. I guess he was, as an artist. I could say how he was my hero and how his music saved my life. Unfortunately, that's not really true. Besides, he would absolutely hate that!

Anyone who knows anything about John Lennon knows that he wasn't afraid to mess with people, even his fans. And had you gushed over him to his face, if given such a great chance, he would have made you feel like you were insane for thinking such things. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure he appreciated everyone who loved his music, but I don't think he wanted to be anyone's hero or anyone's saviour. That's one of the many reasons why I never nailed him to any cross like a lot of people have done; because he didn't want to be there. He can be a cultural icon, even a genius, but the guy was no saint.

I've always wondered, if I had been given the opportunity to meet him, would he have liked me? Call me arrogant, but I think he would have. Why? Probably, because I wouldn't be afraid to call him a jerk to his face. Sure, I would have told him that I really liked his music and I hoped he would never stop making it, but I would also have told him that sometimes he could be a screw-up, and he's got to watch that. He might have been shocked that someone would have the guts to do that, but I think he would have appreciated that truth more than anything. And, of course,I would have thrown in the fact that, when he tried hard enough, he could probably be a decent gentleman.

All I'm saying is this: he was not perfect. People want to act like he was, which proves that they are merely fans, not admirers or students or true followers. He knew he wasn't perfect, and I think it hurt him when people thought he was. If we could love him while knowing about his flaws instead of denying them, that would be what he wanted.

The truth is, John Lennon was, in fact, the one who pushed me to realize what my true calling in life is, and he has continued to inspire me for many years. And even though I never knew him, I still miss him. So, it is accurate to say that God will use anything or anyone to help us find our path. Mysterious ways, indeed.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Bridges of Madison County - Movie Review

Greetings Pups,

Isn't it amazing how people can make something so good and so not so good all at the same time? I thought of this the other night as I watched The Bridges of Madison County.

First off, let me give you some important information about myself. I love Clint Eastwood. I mean, I loooove, like I love him more than anyone my age should. He's an incredible movie maker, storyteller, story finder, but I don't really have to tell anyone these things, do I? I'm sure enough people know how great he is since he has had a career that has spanned, oh, I don't know, a thousand years or so.

However, in all those years, one can never be on a mountaintop with everything they attempt to do. The valleys must be visited. This particular movie, I feel, is a combination of both.

As far as flat-out movie making skills go, this is a brilliant piece of work. Great acting and directing from the Clint and, hello, Meryl Streep! Here, she reminds us why she has been dubbed the queen of all accents. Or do only I call her that? There is so much attention paid to detail, and it was beautifully shot. So, technically, great movie. Now, let's move on to the subject matter.

This has always been considered a great, romantic love story. I could agree with that if not for one little glitch. ADULTERY IS ALWAYS BAD!!! I mean, God put it in the top ten! It's bad. While I can never excuse such behavior, I could understand why a woman may fall into such an act. If, let's say, her husband is a drunk who beats her and the kids and runs around with the pros, if you know what I mean, I could sympathize . . . a little. Still, not excusing it, though. That's not the case in this movie. Her husband is not a bad guy at all. His only crime is not being as awesome as Clint Eastwood. Or as hot. Yeah, I said it. Clint Eastwood was 65 or something when he made this movie and he was still hot. So . . . take that. And if being inadequate in these areas compared to him is a crime for any man, well, does the phrase "not enough prisons on the planet" mean anything!

And let's discuss the most unbelievable aspect of the whole "Bridges" phenomenon. As you may know, this was first a book, written by a dude. That's not the unbelievable part, by the way. It was a book embraced by many, many women, I think, mostly, middle-aged housewives. They seemed to be swept away by the story of a (duh!) middle-aged housewife being romanced by a handsome stranger, giving her a break from her ho-hum life. Gotcha! But, hey, here's an idea. Let's switch it up a bit.

Let's have it be a husband who stays home alone while the wife and two kids go off to the cow show, or whatever it was. Then, who should come up the driveway in her dirty, dirty pick-up truck, but some Angelina looking broad (type-casting) with a camera asking for directions to a bridge. And then, oops!, they trip and fall into bed. Holy double standard, Batman! Every housewife in this country would beat the crap out of that hussy, and they know they would.

Finally, let me bring up the most disturbing aspect of this film. What kind of mother leaves journals filled with the torrid details of her affair to her children?! Grown children, but still. No one wants to think about their parents having sex. Not with each other, nor with some stranger. I would have been like, "Thanks for the secret recipe to your award-winning apple fritters, Mom, but I could have done without your illicit, romance novel diaries!" It proves, yet again, that parents need to be parents to their children, not friends.

So, remember, the best love stories are also the purest. But, hey, the cinematography was great. I know I may have gone a bit off topic here, but I just couldn't help myself. When it comes to movies, sometimes subject matter . . . matters, okay? However, if I am speaking strictly about the skill of film making, this movie is very well done. And if you want to learn how to be a skilled film maker, I say watch it. Actually, watch all of Clint Eastwood's movies should that be your life's goal. And I hope this last statement of acclamation leads to him one day forgiving me for this review.

Love and full moons,

Becky the Writer